To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Operation Dear Abby Sends Holiday Greetings Overseas
DEAR ABBY: My family and I participated in last year's Operation Dear Abby. It was a blessing to us. We sent a box of 40 cards to each address you listed. We realize that is an insignificant number when compared to the number of military personnel who are away from home, but my children are 12 and 7, so that was as many as we could handle. They were not happy when I asked them to sign so many cards, but we did one box each week to keep us from getting writer's cramp and to keep the postage costs manageable.
As we sent out each batch of cards, we looked on the Internet for information about that area. This "activated" my kids. They talked about their new knowledge with their classmates and teachers.
I sent the addresses to their teachers, and the classes sent out cards, too. We didn't do it for recognition, but we received three thank-you cards from commanders.
This "family time" turned out to be so much more than just that -- my children learned a valuable life lesson: the importance of our military and the fact that these people are real, not fictitious characters in a distant place. The kids have begun asking me if we can do it again this year. Abby, when will you be printing the addresses for 2000? -- AMANDA ENNIS, LITHIA SPRINGS, GA.
DEAR AMANDA: Now is the hour, and thank you for giving me this chance to announce the launch of Operation Dear Abby XVI.
Once again I would like to thank everyone who has worked so hard to make Operation Dear Abby the smashing success it is every year. The cards and letters you send remind our servicemen and women that although they are stationed far away, they are in our hearts. Many schools and clubs make this a group project. I can't think of a better morale booster.
In order to ensure that the mail is received within the required time frame -- and that it falls within the Department of Defense security guidelines -- this year mail is being limited to ONLY first-class letters and cards, 13 ounces or less. No packages will be accepted.
Operation Dear Abby has been assigned four addresses for use during the 2000 holiday season. Specific units and countries are not being targeted -- only major U.S. military aerial mail terminals and fleet mail centers overseas. Once the mail is received, these hubs will distribute it on a fair-share basis to all branches of the armed forces. This means a letter addressed to a "soldier" may be distributed to an airman, sailor or Marine, allowing for wider distribution. This will also prevent the transportation system or specific units from being inundated.
To send mail to a specific area, address it to the closest geographic hub:
FOR EUROPE AND SOUTHWEST ASIA:
Any Service Member
OPERATION DEAR ABBY
APO AE 09135
FOR THE MEDITERRANEAN BASIN:
Any Service Member
OPERATION DEAR ABBY
FPO AE 09646
FOR THE FAR EAST:
Any Service Member
OPERATION DEAR ABBY
APO AP 96285
FOR THE PACIFIC BASIN:
Any Service Member
OPERATION DEAR ABBY
FPO AP 96385
The U.S. Postal Service will begin accepting this mail on Nov. 15, 2000. After Jan. 15, 2001, mail will no longer be accepted for these addresses.
Readers, because Operation Dear Abby ZIP codes are temporary, they are not always entered into postal computers, and clerks may not be aware that they are valid. If you encounter difficulty at your local post office, ask the clerk to check postal bulletins 22035 (Oct. 19, 2000) and/or 22036 (Nov. 2, 2000).
Neighbor Struggles to Strike Match of His Dreams on Fire
DEAR ABBY: I have a neighbor (friend) who's 55. I'm 60. We're both in good physical condition and share similar interests. No matter what we do, we always have a good time. I've gotten to know her well enough to consider her the match of my dreams.
She knows how I feel about her, but early on, she stated that she had a history of bad relationships. (She's been married twice; I've been married once.) She claims that most men want only to dominate her.
Every single holiday, she leaves town accompanied by other friends with no other word to me than, "Talk to you later!" As I write this, she's been gone four days following a 10-day illness. During those 10 days, I nursed her -- running errands, buying her flowers, washing her car, bringing her food, you name it.
I don't know what to do. I have respected her privacy and given her all the space she seems to need, and I hate to walk away. This feeling of being left standing on the back porch while she's running out the front door has become really hurtful. My friends say if I confront her, she'll be gone -- and maybe I should just enjoy our relationship for what it is.
Abby, what's your take on this? -- SMITTEN IN ODESSA, TEXAS
DEAR SMITTEN: When it's clear that no commitment is forthcoming, people who want a serious relationship usually drift away. Only those who think they do not deserve better remain in the unhappy "status quo."
DEAR ABBY: After reading "Missing Mom in Minneapolis," about the sister who submitted a $10,000 bill to her mother's estate for services rendered, I was compelled to write.
I once worked for a private home health-care agency in Maryland, doing all of their billing and payroll. I understand matters of money are difficult, especially when a family member dies.
The sister who was not asked to care for their mother, but did so anyway, probably wasn't offered any help either. Had their mother had to pay for those services (24 hours/365 days/five years), the costs would have totaled about $265,000.
That family not only got a terrific deal financially, but I'm sure the mother appreciated having a family member look after her when she needed it most. -- NAVY WIFE LIVING IN JAPAN
DEAR NAVY WIFE: I agree.
P.S. Your figures are astonishing!
DEAR ABBY: At the end of this week, I'll be leaving my job after working here for 14 years. A co-worker with whom I have worked for three years has given me a very expensive gift worth around $400. I suppose it's a token of friendship. He didn't really explain; he just said, "I've got something for you."
Frankly, I was shocked to get such a lavish gift. It's something he and I had spoken about, so he knew I adored it, but would never buy it for myself.
Abby, what should I do? Some people in the office are saying I shouldn't accept it; others tell me I should give him an expensive gift in return. Your thoughts, please. -- EAGER TO MAKE THE RIGHT MOVE
DEAR EAGER: If your co-worker hadn't been able to afford the gift, he would not have given it. Since you had discussed the item with him, he knew it was something you would like. Count your blessings -- not the least of which is that you have such a generous friend. Write him a lovely thank-you letter, keep the gift (and his phone number), and enjoy utilizing both of them.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: My wife, our 7-year-old daughter, Silvia, and I arrived in Los Angeles in June 1965. At the time, Silvia had less than three months of first grade and didn't speak a word of English. We enrolled her in elementary school in Alhambra, Calif., where she was placed in a class taught by an older, conservative teacher who had little patience. The teacher would yell at Silvia for not understanding English.
As you can imagine, taking Silvia to school each day became a Greek tragedy. She would cry from the time she got into the car and continued as she walked through the school's gates. She also cried at home.
Fortunately, our daughter was transferred into another class that was taught by a younger teacher, Miss Luke. Miss Luke didn't understand a word of Spanish, but she would wait at the gate for our arrival in the morning, take Silvia's hand and walk with her all the way to the classroom. She spoke English to her in the most loving way, in a sweet, soft voice. Within a week, our daughter was actually happy to be going to school. In a month, she was speaking with her new friends in English!
Miss Luke eventually married and became Mrs. Mertha. If she reads this, we want her to know that Silvia, who showed talent for both writing and art, decided to follow in her footsteps and become a teacher like her. Although Silvia has been offered higher administrative positions, she's decided to remain in the classroom with her "little ones."
Bless you, Mrs. Mertha. You are living proof that bureaucratic laws are not a substitute for love and affection. -- RUDOLPH SPADANO, HACIENDA HEIGHTS, CALIF.
DEAR RUDOLPH: Thank you for sharing the touching story about a significant chapter in your daughter's life. It teaches two lessons -- that a dedicated teacher can make a profound difference in a child's life, and that it's not only what you say, but also how you say it that conveys a message.
DEAR ABBY: Please remind your readers that there will soon be a presidential election, and "We, the People," can either let our voices be heard or remain silent.
Politicians have power, but we, the people, have power, too. We have the power to vote, to communicate our approval or our opposition to candidates and to those who dictate their party platforms.
We, the people, have the responsibility to decide how to ensure that those we vote into office look after our best interests, our children's and grandchildren's futures. Which candidate has a more workable approach to solving the world's problems -- hate, injustice, indifference and ignorance?
On Election Day, Nov. 7, 2000, we, the people, will determine exactly the kind of leadership we deserve. Please, Abby, urge your readers to make certain we elect the best there is to offer. -- VICKY, A VOTER IN VIRGINIA
DEAR VICKY: Gladly!
The question now that really vexes,
Is where the heck to place our "X's."
Should I give myself a push
And place an "X" where it says Bush?
Or, as a gal who knows the score,
Elect to vote for Albert Gore?
Seriously, folks, those "X's" define what each of us stands for. This is an important election, make no mistake about it. Its outcome will determine the way laws in this country are interpreted for decades. Now is NOT the time to sit on the sidelines. Thousands of people have fought and died for our right to vote in a free democracy. It's time for every eligible voter to stand up and be counted, because in this election, every vote counts.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)