DEAR ABBY: I was invited to share Christmas with a group of friends and family. We had a wonderful time. After dinner, gifts were exchanged, and the hostess made sure that each guest had a gift.
As we sat talking over coffee, I was appalled when one of the women reached into a kitchen drawer, pulled out some plastic bags and proceeded to fill them with food to take home. Have things changed this much?
When I was raised, people didn't help themselves to anything in another person's house. It was my understanding that if you brought a gift or a dish to the party, it was the property of the hostess to serve or not as she saw fit.
I actually saw one lady put an entire loaf of bread into her bag. The hostess had almost nothing left. I overheard her husband ask, "What happened to the bread we had for dinner? I'd like a sandwich." Imagine, not enough left for a sandwich!
When you bring a dish to a party, do you scoop it up and take whatever is left home with you? Do you fix yourself a "doggie bag" without the hostess's permission, knowledge or consent? Abby, isn't what goes into a hostess's house hers to do with as she wishes? -- STUMPED IN NEBRASKA
DEAR STUMPED: When a guest brings food to a dinner party, it is considered a gift for the hostess. She is not obligated to serve it as part of the meal, and is within her rights to pop it into the freezer to enjoy at another time if she chooses.
Well-mannered guests do not remove anything from the house without being invited to do so by their host or hostess.