What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Leash Isn't Enough to Keep Dog Safe in Back of Pickup
DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading the letter about the husky dog who jumped from the back of a pickup truck into traffic. Here is our story:
We were camping Memorial Day weekend three years ago. Our dogs were tied up on short leashes in the back of our pickup truck. One of them climbed onto our cooler next to the side of the truck and fell out. The collar slipped over her head and she went under the wheel of the truck. When we got to her, she was still alive, but barely.
We drove 20 miles to the police station in Payson, Ariz. They called a vet at his home and gave us directions to his office. That wonderful man tried valiantly to save her, but couldn't. Her death still haunts us.
Needless to say, none of our dogs ride in the back of our truck anymore. I am now a volunteer for the Arizona Humane Society. Please, Abby, tell your readers to treat their pets as they would want to be treated. Pets are our friends. -- KAREN IN TEMPE, ARIZ.
DEAR KAREN: I'm printing your letter in the hope that the tragedy which befell your dog will discourage other dog owners from transporting their pets in the back of pickup trucks. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I'm responding to the letter regarding people who allow their dogs to ride unprotected in the back of their pickups. I believe in divine justice. When these people go before their maker on Judgment Day, they will be sentenced to ride aimlessly in the back of a flatbed truck over bumpy back roads, wondering when the devil at the wheel will make his next sharp turn.
Remember, each of us will be judged by how we treated the least of God's creatures. -- ALLEN IN EMORY, TEXAS
DEAR ALLEN: If common sense doesn't rule, then perhaps your letter will scare careless or thoughtless pet owners into doing the right thing: keeping their dogs safely inside the cab of their trucks and out of harm's way. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I have another story to add to the one about the dog that nearly didn't survive a ride in the back of a pickup.
We have two sons, one of whom owns a pickup truck. One Saturday night a few months ago, they were headed downtown. Our oldest son jumped in the back of the truck while his brother and their buddy sat in the cab. His brother had to swerve to avoid an accident, and our son in the back flew out of the pickup at 65 mph on the highway!
Every time I think of that night and what could have happened, I am grateful to God. My son survived with only minor fractures and lots of road burn. He is now back to work and is one lucky young man.
Our sons learned a hard lesson, but animals do not have a choice whether or not to ride in the back of the truck.
Abby, please stress to your readers to THINK before they allow riders -- human or animals -- in the back of their trucks. They may not be as fortunate as we were. -- GRATEFUL MOM IN TEXAS
Daughter Is Grateful She Shared Words of Love With Her Dad
DEAR ABBY: Over the years you have printed many letters about the importance of telling the people you care about that you love them.
About four years ago, I took heed. When talking to my dad, with whom I was very close, I closed with, "I love you, Daddy." He seemed surprised, and then responded, "I love you, too, honey." From then on, every time I ended a conversation with my dad, we had the same exchange.
My dad went to sleep in his home last Nov. 26 and didn't wake up. I want you to know how grateful I am that you woke me up. You have no idea how comforting it is to know the last words we said to each other were those of love. Thank you, Abby, for waking me up before it was too late. -- BONNIE BARNETT, IRVING, TEXAS
DEAR BONNIE: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your beloved father. I may have given you the message, but you had to be receptive and ready to hear it and take action.
It takes only a moment to say, "I love you," or to express appreciation. And as important as the spoken word is, the written word can be enjoyed over and over again. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: The New Orleans reader who commented on a letter to a catering company brought back memories. Our son was active in a church youth group that needed an electrical modification in the room the group was using. He asked an electrical contractor in the church to do the work and later offered to pay. The contractor told him the work was gratis. Our son then wrote him a letter of thanks.
Two weeks later the contractor died of a heart attack. I spoke to his widow at the funeral. She told me her husband actually cried when he got my son's letter. He had done dozens of small jobs gratis at the church and was usually thanked with a word -- but that was the only time he ever got a letter of thanks.
Our son is now chairman of the department of religious studies at a large university. He certainly learned the importance of a written note. -- PAUL A. MILLER, WICHITA, KAN.
DEAR PAUL: You sound like a proud parent -- and you have every right to be. You raised an intelligent and considerate son.
DEAR ABBY: Many of us in our office are wondering about something that happened at our office Christmas luncheon. All the employees were given a $35 gift certificate for food from a local grocery store. We were then encouraged to give it to a local charity (no pressure, of course). A box was provided at the door for us to drop off our gift certificates for those less fortunate than ourselves.
We think it is inappropriate to give a gift and then suggest that it be donated. What do you think? -- THE OFFICE GANG
DEAR OFFICE GANG: I agree with you. Once a gift is given, it belongs to the recipient to do with as he or she pleases. Regardless of how gently it was done, for a boss to "encourage" the employees to forgo the gift and make a donation was still arm-twisting. I'm all for charity -- but not when it's done in that manner.
DEAR ABBY: In response to "Sensitive Nose in Garden Grove, Calif.," who complained because his seatmate on a plane wore too much perfume, I would like to share some advice my older sister gave me when I was a teen-ager.
I'm not sure who said it originally, but here's the quote: "A scent is not to be announced, but to be discovered." It's a guideline I use to this day when I apply my perfume. -- DIANE IN OMAHA
DEAR DIANE: I agree 100 percent with that philosophy. And it applies to men as well as women.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Host Confronts Latecomers, and Not a Moment Too Soon
DEAR ABBY: I'm writing concerning a problem I deal with all the time. We have relatives who can never be on time for anything. This is not a big deal at a barbecue, but for a sit-down holiday dinner it's a real headache.
Some of the actual comments I have received: "How late can I be before I inconvenience everyone?" "We'll be late -- hope your dinner won't be ruined." "Dinner at 4? We might make it by 4 or 5." "We can't make it that early. Back dinner off an hour, will you?"
I used to juggle the time around, trying to suit everyone, which is impossible. Or I would tell them that dinner was a half-hour earlier than it actually was. The late ones would STILL be late.
Finally, I had had it. I responded: "No, you won't ruin my dinner, because we are eating at 4." "Oh, you won't inconvenience anyone, because dinner is at 4, as planned." "You can't make it at that time? Sorry. We'll miss you."
Well, now I'm the villain! But only to the third of the family who is always late. The "late ones" were even late for their mother's surprise birthday party.
Abby, was I too rude, or were my assertive statements justified? -- IN THE DOGHOUSE
DEAR IN: It was rude of your chronically late relatives to demand that you put your dinner party on hold to suit their schedules. You were overdue in asserting yourself and issuing your "Declaration of No More Co-Dependence."
Rather than laying a guilt trip on you, the late-niks should have simply agreed to join you and the rest of the family for dessert and coffee -- and whatever was left of the leftovers.
DEAR ABBY: This is in reference to the item in your column that if the three wise men had been three wise women, they would have asked directions and arrived on time.
In the interest of historical accuracy, it should be pointed out that the three wise men DID ask directions -- from King Herod. It's possible that a great number of babies might have been spared if they hadn't. -- WILLIAM ROBINSON, SOLON MILLS, ILL.
DEAR WILLIAM: You are not the only person to point out that the feminist joke I printed was historically inaccurate. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: We had to write in response to the letter from the Burleson, Texas, reader. You need to study your Bible (Matthew, Chapter 2). The problem with the joke is that the three wise men DID ask for directions. As a result, Herod was tipped off to the birth of the Messiah, necessitating the flight of Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus to Egypt. It also caused the deaths of thousands of innocent children.
Little wonder that men have been afraid to ask for directions ever since. -- LLOYD AND KATHY RAPPLEYE, MESA, ARIZ.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)