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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: Because the season of colds and flu is upon us, I'd like to share with you a verse I think can be credited to the late Ish K. Bibble, a comedian on the "Kay Kayser Kollege of Musical Knowledge," a popular radio program in the '40s:

"I sneezed a sneeze into the air;

"It fell to earth I knew not where:

"But you should have seen the looks on those

"In whose vicinity I snoze!"

Abby, please remind your readers to remember this little verse the next time they feel a sneeze or cough coming on, whether on the street, in a theater, a supermarket, a plane, train or boat -- and especially in MY vicinity! Always use a handkerchief, a tissue, your hand or even your shoulder. Those around you will be grateful.

Thanks for passing this along, Abby. -- HATES THE SNIFFLES

DEAR HATES: You're welcome. No one wants to be sneezed upon -- and colds and flu germs are nothing to be sneezed at. My experts tell me that the hands are the most frequent spreaders of disease. Cold germs can be picked up by touching doorknobs, elevator buttons or telephones that were first handled by infected individuals. When the hand is then used to touch the mouth or nose, or to scratch an eyelid, the cold is transferred to the next "victim." The most effective way to avoid cold and flu germs is to frequently wash one's hands in warm, soapy water.

DEAR ABBY: My granddaughter is being married next April. She and her boyfriend have been living together for four years. It will be the second marriage for her and the third for him.

My question: Do they share the expense of the wedding equally, or does my granddaughter assume the whole financial responsibility? Her fiance says, "The bride pays for everything -- and if you want to marry me, you'll pay for it." Is that right? -- ALICE IN ATLANTA

DEAR ALICE: That depends on how you look at it. From my perspective, not only will your granddaughter "pay for it" -- she'll pay for it and pay for it and pay for it. He should be ashamed of himself for attempting to place the entire financial burden on her shoulders. He and your granddaughter are a couple and should split the cost of their wedding 50-50. She should think twice about marrying this fellow.

DEAR ABBY: A church here in Minneapolis made up a list of all their male parishioners who died during service in any war.

They put this list on the wall for everyone to see.

A 4-year-old boy was standing and looking at the list when the minister came by.

The boy asked the minister, "What is this list for?"

The minister replied, "That is all our male parishioners who died in the service."

The boy asked the minister, "Was it during the 9 o'clock or 10:30 service?" -- ORVILLE M. ANDERSON, MINNEAPOLIS

DEAR ORVILLE: That's a cute story. Did it really happen, or are you pulling my prayer shawl?

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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