DEAR ABBY: After reading the letters in your column about children's behavior in restaurants, I had to write.
When my current husband and I began dating, we had three toddlers between us. Two were his, one was mine. The youngest, his 1-year-old, ran wild. I was ashamed and embarrassed. The two girls were fine. (His daughter was 3 and mine was 2.) But oh, that son! He threw temper tantrums, insisted on a particular cup or plate or he wouldn't eat, stood on chairs and benches, etc. He was spoiled rotten, and I told my husband so. I also told him it was wrong to allow such behavior. It didn't faze him.
One day we were in a restaurant, and a stranger came to our table and said, "You two have three beautiful children. What a shame that your son's behavior is all I'll remember when we leave."
What an impact that made! My husband began right then and there teaching his son acceptable behavior.
Three years ago, on an airplane flight, a flight attendant approached my husband and said, "Your three kids are so polite. They say please and thank you. Half the adults on this flight could learn from them!" The kids were 12, 13 and 14 at that time. We were, and still are, so proud. And the son, who is now 15, is a very well-mannered gentleman.
So obviously, children will do what the parent allows. -- STEPMOM IN TAMPA
DEAR STEPMOM: Absolutely! And that's why it's important for parents to set limits for their children. How else are they going to learn what is acceptable and what is not?