DEAR ABBY: "Sexless in Seattle" seems totally focused on developing an intimate relationship with the desirable widower, but never a mention of marriage.
For many, many people, marriage comes first, then intimacy follows naturally. Perhaps this is the case of morality, not pathological grief. If his first marriage was good, an intimate relationship would seem to be infidelity, adultery or fornication.
The more fitting solution is the marriage ceremony to put closure to the first marriage and end the grieving process. -- A.V.G. IN FLORIDA
DEAR A.V.G.: I agree that for many people marriage comes first. However, if morality were the issue, the man wouldn't have been making and breaking promises to the woman for nearly a year. Instead, he would have told her plainly -- and proudly -- that he doesn't condone sex outside of marriage. That's the honorable thing to do, and it would have saved her a lot of pain.