DEAR ABBY: "R.I.P'd Off in Walla Walla, Wash." complained that his father's grave has only a military marker and no gravestone. He also stated that the marker was sinking. He felt the fact that his father didn't have a gravestone was a sign of disrespect, but was unsure about approaching his mother about it.
Abby, the bronze marker he referred to was provided by the Department of Veterans Affairs. Those markers are attractive. When my mother passed away, we purchased a bronze marker for her that matches those of my father and brother -- both veterans.
If the marker is indeed sinking, he should contact the caretakers of the cemetery. They are responsible for assuring that the grounds and markers within the cemetery are properly cared for. When a marker is out of adjustment, it is their job to reset it properly. Sign me ... A VETERAN IN ARIZONA
DEAR VETERAN: A number of veterans wrote to tell me that the bronze marker provided by the VA is a type of gravestone, and one which "R.I.P'd Off" should be proud to have adorn his father's final resting place. Thank you for pointing out that the responsibility for maintaining the gravesite belongs to the cemetery caretakers, including resetting the markers when necessary.