DEAR ABBY: I am 23 years old, happily married and have two children. My 4 1/2-year-old is the result of a previous relationship. Her father left me when he found out I was pregnant and didn't show up until shortly before the delivery date. He wanted me back, so I moved back in with him. A week before our daughter was born, he dumped me again.
Abby, I am now married to a wonderful man I met within days after my daughter's birth. He adopted her and is the only father she's ever known.
I know she must be told, but when would be the best age to tell her about her birth father? -- CLUELESS IN MICHIGAN
DEAR CLUELESS: As soon as your daughter is old enough to understand the difference between "biological father" and "adoptive father," begin telling her the story. Tell her only as much as she wants to know and fill in more details later, when she has a need to know and asks you questions. Be sure to let her know that she is special -- and that her daddy fell in love with BOTH of you at first sight.