DEAR ABBY: I would like to point out something you seem to have missed in your response to "Itching on the East Coast." She was upset with her sister-in-law, who is a hypochondriac and always knows how everyone feels. Unfortunately, I truly DO know how "Itching" feels; my father died last Christmas after an eight-month battle with pancreatic cancer. I, too, spent many sleepless nights caring for or worrying about him. Other people, including my husband and children, got on my nerves -- especially those who were trying to make me feel better.
Luckily, I had to see my family doctor to get an expired prescription refilled. The short story is, I broke down in her office. I told her that my father was dying, that I wasn't sleeping well, and that people were getting on my nerves so much that I wanted to scream at them. She diagnosed me with reactive depression and prescribed medication to help me through that difficult time.
If "Itching" has put up with her sister-in-law for 13 years, I'm willing to bet that the sister-in-law's personality is not the real problem here. Please urge her to see a doctor and describe what is going on in her life. It's extremely difficult to watch a loved one die under any circumstances. When you are one of the primary caretakers in such a situation, the emotional strain can be overwhelming.
Depression can be terribly debilitating, but with the medications available today, it can also be controlled. Sign me ... REALLY HAVE BEEN THERE IN ILLINOIS
DEAR REALLY: Thank you for sharing your insight. When the writer complained about her sister-in-law's actions over a period of many years, it did not occur to me that the real problem might be that the stress of her present situation was coloring her reactions. I agree with you that a visit to her physician could be in order. Thank you for pointing it out.