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by Abigail Van Buren

Effeminate Boy Will Not Necessarily Become Gay

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Maggie Rose, Edmonds, Wash.," who had to confront men at a ball game about their swearing.

About 50 years ago, my older brother was given a "Ten Reasons for Swearing" card. I am happy to say it broke him of the habit. Whenever I hear a man or woman swear, I just say, "I couldn't help overhearing you. Welcome to the club," as I hand them a card. It does work. I have had more than 10,000 of them printed.

If you feel they are worth sharing with your readers, feel free to do so. -- MONTY INSKO, CARDIFF BY THE SEA, CALIF.

DEAR MONTY: If your "Ten Reasons for Swearing" makes the offenders take a moment to cool off, they're certainly worth sharing:

10 REASONS FOR SWEARING

1. It pleases Mother so much.

2. It's a fine mark of manliness.

3. It proves that I have self-control.

4. It indicates how clearly my mind operates.

5. It makes my conversation so pleasing to everybody.

6. It leaves no doubt in anyone's mind as to my good breeding.

7. It impresses people that I have more than an ordinary education.

8. It's an unmistakable sign of culture and refinement.

9. It makes me desirable personally among women and children in respectable society.

10. It's my way of honoring God, who said, "Thou shall not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain."