DEAR ABBY: Like most of your readers, I never thought I'd be writing to you, but I'm at my wit's end.
I am a 38-year-old married woman. My husband doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't fool around, is physically fit, great in bed and not afraid to shower. He works at a full-time job, as well as a part-time job, and he's an equal partner in the area of child care. So, what's my problem?
This man has never admitted he was wrong about ANYTHING in the 13 years we've been married! He has never apologized for any thoughtless thing he's done, has never acknowledged that anything he's ever said has caused me pain or embarrassment, and refuses to admit that this isn't normal.
When I let him know this really bothers me, he'll joke and say, "Someday, if I'm ever wrong, I'll apologize." I'll admit that my response is usually a smart-aleck insult, but I think that after all these years of being married to Mr. Perfect, I'm entitled.
I love this guy, I really do. But I don't think I can bear to spend the rest of my life with a man who thinks that my feelings are unimportant. I'm not usually one to hold a grudge, but since he won't apologize about anything, I stay angry at him much longer than I should about inconsequential things. Short of divorce, what do I do? -– FRUSTRATED
DEAR FRUSTRATED: Your husband is a 9 on a scale of 10 –- and that's a pretty terrific score. When he says something hurtful or embarrassing, perhaps you should be slower to make a "smart-aleck" comment, and instead let him see an honest reaction. It would make it more difficult for him to joke his way out of an apology.
P.S. Believe it or not, the inability to admit one is wrong is a sign of insecurity.