DEAR ABBY: I am in love with my first cousin. We're both more than 40 years old. We knew we were attracted to each other 30 years ago, but we didn't say anything to each other at that time. He went ahead and got married. I remained single. He is now divorced.
A month ago we were at a funeral. That night we both decided to speak the truth to each other. After that, I returned home and told my sisters and brothers about it. Now they treat me like an outcast. I don't know what to say to them anymore.
Abby, I'm a grown woman and not a child. My cousin and I both want the same things out of life. This relationship will last until the end of time. Why can't my family stand to see me happy? -– IN LOVE IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR IN LOVE: Perhaps they're concerned because this seems so sudden to them. In addition, it isn't legal in some states for first cousins to marry.
People used to believe that if first cousins married, it might promote genetic defects in their offspring. However, since the advent of genetic testing for couples contemplating marriage, the risk of defects can be evaluated and ruled out. Your physician can help you allay your siblings' fears. If not, you may have to choose between your new love and your family.