DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. We live together. I am 29 and he is 31. I love him and think we have a great relationship.
His mother passed away last summer. The nursing home she was in took all her savings and she didn't have funeral insurance, so the costs for everything rested on the two of us. While he has two older sisters and one older brother, two of them didn't even come to the memorial service or help pay for the funeral costs. We chose to have her cremated.
We had very little money at the time, but a minister friend of mine held a lovely church memorial service in her honor, and my father held the repast at his home. My divorced parents made sandwiches and drinks for my boyfriend's family, and one of my boyfriend's sisters graciously paid for 75 percent of the cremation costs.
A few days after the service, his sister returned home and his mother's ashes were left with us. None of the children want them, and for the past year my boyfriend has stored them in our bedroom closet. I am uncomfortable with them being there. I really liked his mother a lot and have a problem seeing that box of ashes every morning when I get dressed for work.
How should I broach this with my boyfriend? -- HAUNTED IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR HAUNTED: Since the remains make you uncomfortable, suggest to your boyfriend that his mother's ashes deserve a more dignified resting place than a box in a bedroom closet. Then go with him to investigate the cost of placing her ashes in one of the local cemeteries, and discuss payment plans.
Another option: According to the Funeral and Memorial Societies of America, as of 1998 it's legal in all 50 states to scatter ashes. Perhaps you can find an appropriate and meaningful spot for her remains.