DEAR ABBY: I'm sending this in response to "Sad Father in Connecticut." Many of us who have lost a child have felt the sting of insensitive people. The enclosed poem by Rita Moran was printed in "The Compassionate Friends" newsletter in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. Feel free to share it if you wish. –- NANCY LEFFEL, BEREAVED MOTHER, FORT LAUDERDALE, FLA.
DEAR NANCY: Thank you for sending the poem. Many people feel awkward about expressing their sympathy to families who have experienced a loss. Rita Moran's poem not only contains a strong message, it also offers helpful advice for those who don't know what to say. Read on:
PLEASE, don't ask me if I'm over it yet.
I'll never be over it.
PLEASE, don't tell me she's in a better place.
She isn't here with me.
PLEASE, don't say at least she isn't suffering.
I haven't come to terms with why she had to suffer at all.
PLEASE, don't tell me you know how I feel,
Unless you have lost a child.
PLEASE, don't ask me if I feel better.
Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up.
PLEASE, don't tell me at least you had her for so many years.
What year would you choose for your child to die?
PLEASE, don't tell me God never gives us more than we can bear.
PLEASE, just say you are sorry.
PLEASE, just say you remember my child, if you do.
PLEASE, just let me talk about my child.
PLEASE, mention my child's name.
PLEASE, just let me cry.