DEAR ABBY: My former friend, "Molly," became engaged and moved away. Before she left, she said I could have her job. After being interviewed, I got the position.
It has been seven months -- and two pay raises -- and now Molly has returned. She's calling the boss and other workers in the office. She got kicked out of her boyfriend's house and needs her job back. She's really turning up the pressure. She won't talk to me because she knows how upset I am.
My question: Does she deserve to get my job? Or is she being selfish? Am I being selfish? I love my work and very much want to stay. -- WORRIED IN L.A.
DEAR WORRIED: I don't know what arrangement your boss had with Molly when she left. But hold a good thought; your boss may be reluctant to replace an employee who has performed well enough on the job to earn two raises in seven months with someone who sacrificed her career for "love."
DEAR ABBY: I have enjoyed your column for years. Thanks for the entertainment each day. You do a great job.
Abby, this is the first time I have written to you, and it's because I disagree with your answer to "Concerned Friend." The reader was concerned that a friend was unhappy because he was single. She said he was too shy to discuss his feelings with her. If that's true, how does she know he's unhappy? I think the reader is projecting her feelings onto her friend.
As a single person, I want my friends to respect me enough to trust that I know what I want from my life. She should give her friend some dignity and realize that if he wants a relationship, he'll pursue one. If he wants his married friends to fix him up, he'll tell them.
You suggested that the reader subtly invite some single females to their group activities. Please, Abby, he would know exactly what she's doing. As a "single," I would find it awkward and embarrassing.
In my circle of friends, some of us are couples and several of us are single. However, my friends respect me enough to leave to me the connecting up with someone if I want that.
Why must people assume that unmarried people are miserable because of their single status? Most of my single friends have homes, careers, hobbies and extended families they enjoy. I know people who try to fix us up are trying to help, but we don't NEED matchmakers. What we need are friends who love and respect us just as we are. -- SHARON FROM CINCINNATI
DEAR SHARON: I'm sure you speak not only for yourself, but for many singles. However, there are also many out there who would love their friends to lend a hand in the matchmaking process. There's nothing wrong with being single if that's what makes you happy, but for those who long to be half a couple, a little help could be the ticket to a partner in a "pair" tree.
CONFIDENTIAL TO "FRUSTRATED IN DELAWARE": Don't let one setback stop you; your community needs you. In the words of Dag Hammarskjold, former secretary-general of the United Nations: "You have not done enough, you have never done enough so long as it is still possible that you have something to contribute."
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