DEAR ABBY: I would like to respond to the series of letters you printed about the man who suggested his wife visit the nude beaches while they were in Europe. Like the couple in question, my wife and I experienced the reaction, pain and steps that led to and followed a mastectomy. She was beautiful before AND after the surgery, but she had a hard time seeing it. We had visited and enjoyed nude beaches before she was diagnosed.
Months after the surgery we were invited to a party where use of the pool and hot tub would be clothing-optional. We went, and after 10 minutes in the hot tub with my wife in her bathing suit, one of our friends inquired about her surgery and recovery process. By the end of the evening, my wife was nude, and finally realized that she was loved and accepted as the wonderful woman she was; that her value was not in having or not having breasts.
When people become more accepting of their bodies, fewer women will believe they must look like some supermodel or hate their bodies. Then we can accept that who we are is not how we look, but is how we behave in our relationships with one another.
The wonderful woman who was my wife is no longer living; cancer took her life last September. She was buried nude, per her request. Sign me ... BONNY'S GUY, PACIFIC PALISADES, CALIF.
DEAR BONNY'S GUY: There is much wisdom in your message. Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your beloved wife.
Coping with the emotional issue of self-image can be among the most challenging aspects of recovery from surgery following breast cancer. I hope your letter will reassure survivors that their fear a mastectomy will make them unattractive is largely unfounded.