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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I am 19 and work two jobs. One of them is with a small title company. When I started, I was promised a raise after a few weeks of training. I have not seen that raise. I am considering asking for it, but I'm shy when it comes to this sort of thing.

Abby, what would be the easiest and most effective way to ask without losing my job? -- SHY AND BROKE IN LOUISIANA

DEAR SHY: Compile a list of the reasons you feel you deserve a raise, then ask your boss or supervisor for an appointment to talk. People who ask for what they deserve are respected, so do not be shy about asking for the raise you were promised.

The list will enable you to show your boss or supervisor why you think your salary should be increased. It will open the door for a discussion about your performance, and allow both of you to evaluate your strengths and any areas in which you need to improve.

Consider this another step on the road to maturity. If you are an asset to the company, you should be treated like one.

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to a recent letter regarding the need to carry identification in case of an emergency.

My husband is an avid runner. He never used to carry ID because he said it was inconvenient. I felt that it was an unsafe practice, and finally came up with a solution he could live with. Whenever I order ID tags for our dogs, I order one for my husband. I put as much pertinent information on it as possible, including his name, phone number and an emergency number at work.

He jokes that I put "property of" on the tag, too, but he does agree that it's a good idea. He laces the tag into his shoelaces. It's lightweight, soundless and reflective. He never forgets it because it's a permanent part of his shoe from the very first run. It's an inexpensive way to protect him in the event of an injury. Perhaps others might benefit from our idea. -- KATIE SPICER, CHALFONT, PA.

DEAR KATIE: You have hit upon a clever solution to a common problem, and I congratulate you on your ingenuity. I'm sure your idea of adapting dog tags will appeal to runners and walkers who are reluctant to carry any "excess baggage" with them.

DEAR ABBY: I want to divorce my husband but I don't know how to tell him. We have been arguing too much, and it's affecting my studies in college. I strongly suspect that he's having an affair and feeling guilty about it because he stays out late. How late? you might ask. Try 4 o'clock in the morning! Also, our sex life has decreased to only two or three times a month.

We have been married for three years, and in the first three months of our marriage, he had an affair with the woman he left for me. Like an idiot, I took him back, thinking I could trust him. Now I have my doubts. I don't know what to do. Please help me, Abby. -- UNCOUPLING IN OREGON

DEAR UNCOUPLING: Tell your husband exactly what you have told me. Offer him the option of marriage counseling. If he refuses -- since there are no children to complicate matters -- I suggest you talk to a lawyer.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL. 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

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