DEAR ABBY: My father died 20 years ago. During his final illness my mother purchased two side-by-side cemetery plots in the town in which I grew up. My mother still lives there, although some of us kids have moved out of state.
I am writing because after 20 years, my father still does not have a gravestone. As a veteran, he got a military marker, but that's not a gravestone, and it's sinking into the ground. Since Mom is still with us, is the gravestone any of my business? (She has not remarried.) I have kept my mouth shut for almost two decades now, but I feel this is disrespectful to my father. Money to buy a gravestone is not a problem for Mom or for us children. Any suggestions? -- R.I.P'D OFF IN WALLA WALLA, WASH.
DEAR R.I.P.'D: Since your mother is still with you, discuss your feelings with her. It may be the result of gross procrastination, or a grave oversight.