DEAR ABBY: In about a month, my sister "Jane" and her husband, "Dick," are going to Hawaii for a vacation. Dick enjoys the nude beaches, but Jane does not -- and she has gotten a lot of verbal abuse about it.
For the entire 32 years of their marriage, Dick has verbally abused my sister because of her weight. Jane has tried every diet known to man, and then some. Her self-esteem is low. He takes every dime he makes, and refuses to allow her to buy clothing when her weight is up. She works in the public sector and feels terrible because she can't dress as well as her co-workers.
During the last conversation I had with her, she said, "Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the vacation, but I just can't go nude. And Dick says he'll cut my bathing suit off me if I refuse. I don't know what to do."
Of course, Dick has never had a weight problem and has always looked like he walked out of GQ.
Abby, could you please offer some suggestions? I know Dick needs counseling, but that is out. -- JANE'S SISTER
DEAR JANE'S SISTER: Dick doesn't need counseling as much as your sister does. Jane needs to understand why she has tolerated for 32 years the kind of treatment you have described, and to become strong enough to demand the kind of respect she deserves from the insensitive man she married. Until she does that, nothing will change.