Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been discussing buying a recreational vehicle that we could take to New Hampshire or California. However, I have some reservations about traveling with him, as he gets too intense when he gets behind the wheel of a car.

Past experiences have made car travel sheer hell, because he fills up the gas tank and refuses to stop for anything until the tank indicator reads empty. It doesn't matter whether the dog or I have to go to the bathroom, or need to get out and stretch our legs, or if we need to eat or are thirsty. As if that doesn't make us miserable enough, he insists on doing all the driving at 10 to 20 miles above the speed limit. All the scenery is a blur!

I have discussed these issues with him and he assures me that he will change, but I have been with him almost 20 years, and I don't see it happening in the near future. I am concerned that we'll end up killing each other.

Should I say yes? -- TRAVEL TERROR

DEAR TRAVEL TERROR: Heck no! Your husband has proven that once he gets behind the wheel he's disrespectful of the law, insensitive to your needs, and so focused on getting to the destination that you cannot enjoy the trip. Do your bladder a favor. Take a bus, take a train, but do not agree to accompany him on the highway.

DEAR ABBY: This may seem trivial to you, but the more I encounter this the more it annoys me. It seems that almost every form to be filled out -- organization, business, government agency, etc. -- asks for first name, middle initial and last name.

Abby, there are thousands of us (maybe hundreds of thousands) who don't go by our first names. We use our middle names. When I try filling out forms using just the first initial and writing in my middle name, they invariably reverse it in subsequent correspondence.

Have these people never heard of T. Boone Pickens, H. Ross Perot and J. Paul Getty? It would be so simple to just put in the spaces and ask for first name OR initial, middle name OR initial and last name. Am I being petty? Sign me ... J. QUENTIN PUBLIC, NOT JOHN Q. PUBLIC

DEAR MR. PUBLIC: You are not being petty, and I empathize with your frustration. You are a square peg who doesn't quite fit into a round hole. Console yourself that at least you are in good company, because it's unlikely that the forms will be changed -- even for H. Ross Perot, T. Boone Pickens or J. Quentin Public. (J. Paul Getty is beyond those worldly concerns.)

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to the letter from the brother-in-law of a restaurant owner concerning "unattended children." I couldn't resist sending a copy of a sign that was on the wall of a restaurant near Interstate 90 near Bozeman, Mont.:

"Children unattended will be

"Towed away at owner's expense!"

Abby, feel free to share it with your readers. -- KEN CRANE, JORDAN, MINN.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600