DEAR ABBY: In the next few months, my wife and I will celebrate our 70th wedding anniversary. I have been retired for many years, so I'm qualified to offer suggestions to husbands who have retired:
Husbands, you worked for years in servitude to a boss who gave you orders. Don't feel guilty for the pleasure you get from reading his obituary. After retirement, you have a new boss -- your wife. She doesn't issue orders; she uses diplomacy. For example: "We should wash the windows." "We should clean the cellar and garage." "We should trim those high bushes."
Husbands, you will soon learn that "we" means, "Honey, you ..." I advise you not to mutter. Your wife may be hard of hearing, but you'll discover that muttering comes in loud and clear to her. Develop a hard-of-hearing act. When your wife says, "Honey, I couldn't sleep last night, so I was thinking we should ..." quickly begin your act. If you don't, you'll be sorry.
Your new boss will say she doesn't understand finances and turn the job over to you. But don't try sneaking anything into the pile of bills. She'll catch you.
Abby, please do not reveal my name or address. My wife is an avid Dear Abby reader, and I'd like to reach our 70th wedding anniversary in one piece. -- OVER 90 IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR OVER 90: You may be over 90, but your wife has you "going like 60." I'd advise her to put on the brakes, but the regimen seems to agree with you. May you both enjoy a happy, healthy 70th anniversary and more. I'm sure many retired couples will identify with your letter.