DEAR ABBY: My husband (I'll call him Nick) fathered a daughter out of wedlock 23 years ago. Nick and the mother were both very young and marriage was not an option. The child, "Sherry," was placed for adoption.
Sherry located her birth parents about six months ago. Only a few people (mostly relatives) know about this young woman. Nick and I have been married 18 years and have two children, 16 and 12. He and Sherry have a close relationship, and she has met our children.
Abby, we're unsure how we should explain this to people. Nick would like to have a large party and introduce her to our friends and family. I'm not certain that a large "coming out" party is the best way to go.
We have read your column for years and would appreciate your opinion. What would you do in our situation? -- NICK'S WIFE
DEAR WIFE: I commend you for your mature, healthy attitude. Since Sherry and her father now have a close relationship, your friends and relatives are sure to find out about her one way or another. Rather than giving Sherry a "coming out" party, a diplomatic way to introduce her might be to host a party during one of the holidays, when friends and family usually gather anyway. As the invitations are extended and accepted, all prospective guests should be told exactly who Sherry is to avoid any surprised reactions that could make her feel uncomfortable or unwelcome.