DEAR ABBY: Please send a wake-up call to starry-eyed women who marry for "love" and never look past their beating hearts. As cold and unromantic as it may sound, financial security should also be a consideration when making a lifelong commitment. The moment your Prince Charming adds your name to his credit cards, bank accounts or other legal documents, he can begin weaving a web that connects you tighter than any marriage contract.
Abby, there is so much more to choosing a partner than just physical attraction or "love." Lust withers, and what's left behind needs to be a secure, capable partner -- not a wimpy financial disaster. -- BEEN THERE
DEAR BEEN THERE: Many people marry for love and have strong and lasting marriages, so I'm hesitant to cast aspersions on all love matches. However, if someone marries a financially irresponsible partner, one's first thought should be damage control. The marriage might be salvageable if the responsible partner is willing to set limits on the other's imprudent spending. It could mean closing joint accounts, putting the money in the name of the responsible spouse and canceling joint credit cards. If the marriage is really a love match, there should be no difficulty in getting the necessary signatures to remedy the problem. If the problems persist, however, and there's a refusal to cooperate, the problem may be less about finances than who's in control.