DEAR ABBY: I have a beautiful, sweet grandmother who has been going to the same beauty shop for 40 years. Her stylist, "Sue," teases and lacquers her hair until it's stiff as a board, and also gives her those frizzy perms that make her hair look like Brillo. She sleeps with her hair wrapped in toilet tissue.
For my wedding, I offered to send her to my stylist and pay for it, but she said she would feel so disloyal to Sue that she could never look her in the face again.
Abby, my beautiful grandmother showed up at my wedding looking like an apricot poodle! When I got the pictures back it almost broke my heart. What can I do to convince her that it's time for a change? -- LOVING GRANDDAUGHTER IN WICHITA, KAN.
DEAR GRANDDAUGHTER: Your grandmother sleeps with her hair wrapped in toilet tissue because she wants her "set" to last between shampoos. As much as you would like to see her adopt a softer and more contemporary style, she is satisfied with her hairstyle and comfortable with how she looks, so you should accept it. Had your grandmother been interested in changing her image, she would have accepted your offer to have her hair styled for your wedding.
DEAR ABBY: What is the proper etiquette when it comes to baby showers? I have a friend who wants a shower for her second child. Her first child is only 4. She has hinted around to me about how she wants "someone" to throw her another baby shower, and she has even registered at local stores!
Abby, I don't feel comfortable giving her another shower, but she's my best friend, and I haven't heard of anyone else doing so. I always thought that you have baby showers for the first child only. Am I wrong, or is this something that's changing because of the times? -- WONDERING IN SUPERIOR, WIS.
DEAR WONDERING: In my opinion, it's improper to do it this soon. Be honest with your friend and explain why you're uncomfortable about hosting another baby shower. It's generally assumed that if the children are spaced relatively close together, the mother will save the baby items and reuse them.
DEAR ABBY: The letter from "In a Bind," whose cousin didn't want her to name her baby after their uncle, reminded me of a joke one of my co-workers shared with me.
A young couple were having their first child, a girl. The wife began searching through baby books, looking for just the right name for their daughter. After several months of "research" she finally decided the perfect name was "Calliope."
Her husband disliked the name, but he was a skilled negotiator. Instead of arguing with her, he said with a broad grin: "That's a great idea! When I was in high school I dated a beautiful blonde named Calliope. Gosh! The memories that name brings back ..."
The next day, his wife informed him that she'd changed her mind. They named their daughter Caroline Alice, after both of their mothers! -- WHAT'S IN A NAME IN NEBRASKA
DEAR NAME: That's a hoot! The husband must have majored in psychology.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
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