DEAR ABBY: I'm responding to your advice to "Mixed Up in Missouri," whose wife left their 19-year marriage for another man. When "Mixed Up" found a new love, suddenly his ex-wife wanted to come back. You told him to remain with his wife and continue marriage counseling, and to concentrate on reviving their marriage. Why should he?
His wife left him, and he had begged her to return for a year. Once he found some happiness, she couldn't handle it and wanted him back. She's obviously jealous, or her love affair with the other man ended. Abby, she can't have her cake and eat it, too. If they're fighting all the time, they're both miserable. If he was happier with his girlfriend, he should be with her. I think he should do whatever makes him happy. -- M.E. IN CHICAGO
DEAR M.E.: If the man had not felt the marriage was worth another try, he would not have broken off with the girlfriend to try to work out his problems with his wife. He asked me to help him decide what would be best for everyone involved. I advised him to concentrate his efforts on reviving his marriage. If it didn't work out, then he would know in his heart he had given 100 percent, and wouldn't have to ask me to decide what was right for him. In other words, he wouldn't need my "permission" to leave. I stand by that answer.