To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
WOMAN LEARNS THAT NO NEWS CAN SOMETIMES BE BAD NEWS
DEAR ABBY: I am 31 years old and have been healthy all my life -- or so I thought.
I have annual physical examinations and PAP smears. I trusted my doctor to let me know about any abnormal test results and thought that "No news is good news." Well, I don't think that way anymore.
Last April, I had a physical, and because I heard nothing from my doctor, I assumed everything was OK. However, in July, I had a minor problem and called for an appointment. My regular doctor couldn't take me so I was seen by another doctor in the same group.
The new doctor asked why I hadn't returned for my "pinch biopsy." I was startled -- remember: No news is good news. My doctor had failed to notify me that my PAP smear showed level-three dysplastic cells on my cervix. It seems that for three years, my PAP smears had shown precancerous cells, but the test results had been simply filed in my chart and nothing was said to me about them!
I was frightened and angry that this had slipped by my doctor. What is the annual exam for, if not to catch such things at an early stage?
Biopsies were done the next day and surgery was scheduled for two weeks later. Part of my cervix was removed to eliminate the precancerous cells, but the new doctor warned me that the cells may appear again in the future. He said I would PROBABLY be able to get pregnant and carry a baby to term.
Abby, I wonder what would have happened to me had I not had that minor problem that caused me to see another doctor? Would my regular doctor have caught the oversight at some point or would the reports have remained unnoticed in my file? His negligence could have cost me my life!
I now have a new doctor.
Abby, please warn your readers not to buy into the adage that no news is good news and to call their doctors for test results. Ignorance of the results could cost a life while knowledge of them could literally save one. -- LUCKY IN CONNECTICUT
DEAR LUCKY: You are indeed fortunate that your condition was discovered before it became life-threatening.
In these days of managed medical care, doctors are seeing far more patients than they used to -- and many of them expect their patients to be more sophisticated and responsible about their health than a generation ago. And part of that means shouldering the responsibility to CALL THE DOCTOR for test results instead of waiting to be notified. Your letter illustrates how important it is to take the initiative.
CONFIDENTIAL TO MY READERS: Easter will soon be here, and although I've cautioned you before, I must caution you again: If you plan to surprise a child with a live rabbit, baby duck or chick, please consider that living creatures need proper care. Unless you are absolutely certain that the little creature will receive the care it needs to survive, please give a stuffed bird or animal instead. Regardless of how cute baby animals are, they should not be given to children on impulse.
HARD-WON RESPECT NOW EXISTS BETWEEN STUDENTS AND PRINCIPAL
DEAR ABBY: I have been the principal of an elementary school for four years, and for the most part have been able to keep my cool except during those noisy lunch hours in the cafeteria.
Every January, our school takes part in a "Bound for Literacy" promotion to encourage reading. The promotion is usually capped off by (who else?) the principal kissing a pig, eating worms or some other bit of nonsense to honor the students attaining a reading goal. This year, my husband and daughter -- a fifth-grader at the school -- suggested a stunt to literally "tie in" with the promotion's name. I agreed to spend a lunch hour (two sessions) bound and gagged in a chair in the cafeteria if the student body read a total of 2,000 books. Of course, I knew they would reach that goal, so I had to gear myself for the noise I'd have to contend with on the appointed day. It would be a deafening racket.
Friday, Jan. 29, was the big day. Just before lunch, several PTA mothers armed with a bundle of jump ropes bound me securely, taped my mouth and hoisted me into a chair on a raised platform in the cafeteria. Then the children filed in. Of course, they giggled and waved -- but to my astonishment, the kids in both sessions were so quiet you could hear a spoon drop. I was amazed! One of the older children later told me, "We didn't want to take advantage of you while you were all tied up."
The following Monday, the noise levels returned to normal in the cafeteria. I have no desire to spend lunch hours bound and gagged -- but I have acquired a new tolerance for lunchtime noise, and I have definitely gained added respect for my pupils. -- BOUND FOR LITERACY, ABINGTON, PA.
DEAR "BOUND": After the "sacrifice" you made, I'm sure the respect is reciprocated. Not only are your students' strides toward literacy laudable, their exhibition of fair play is admirable. My congratulations to them.
DEAR ABBY: I have never written to you, but for a number of decades I have frequently read and enjoyed your column. I have even quoted you to patients occasionally. I am now a retired psychiatrist.
I am sufficiently appalled by your answer to "Devastated in New York" -- the woman with the cheating fiance -- to write to you. Heaven help her if she does "proceed with caution" as you advised. She is almost sure to become an abused wife, emotionally if no other way.
My answer would be much more along the lines of: "Trust? Are you serious? This man has lied to you not once but innumerable times over the last year and a half. (Since you say you 'recently discovered' his liaison, I assume he didn't come to you to present this as a problem.) People who habitually lie don't stop. Count yourself exceedingly lucky to have made this discovery now and not later. Any love you feel is left over from the romantic time during which you thought you had a relationship. You will get over it. He is a loser. Do not hesitate to lose him."
I hope you publish some "second thoughts" on your answer. -- HERTA SILZER, M.D., BERKELEY, CALIF.
DEAR DR. SILZER: Not only have I had second thoughts about my answer, but I also realize it did not convey what the young woman needed to hear.
Your answer is better than mine, and I hope "Devastated in New York" sees it.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Carbon Monoxide Poisoning Claims Hundreds of Lives
DEAR ABBY: You recently printed a letter that dealt with carbon monoxide (CO) poisoning. According to the National Safety Council, more than 200 fatalities per year are attributable to carbon monoxide as a direct result of poorly or improperly vented organic fuel heaters. With just a little education, many of these deaths are entirely preventable.
As a member of the Publications Committee of the American Industrial Hygiene Association, may I call to your attention a pamphlet that may be of importance to your readers? The advice given to your readers was sound, but the pamphlet has more specific actions to take, including ways to tell if a dwelling might possibly have a carbon monoxide problem, as well as information on an important aspect of CO safety -- carbon monoxide detectors.
Interested or concerned readers may request a free copy of the brochure "Carbon Monoxide -- The Silent, Cold Weather Killer" from the American Industrial Hygiene Association at: AIHA Publications, 2700 Prosperity Ave., Suite 250, Fairfax, Va. 22031. (Please enclose a self-addressed, stamped envelope.) Or, they may visit the Web site at www.aiha.org. This brochure is also available in Spanish. -- TIMOTHY H. RYAN, PH.D., ASSISTANT PROFESSOR, OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY
DEAR DR. RYAN: Thank you for the informative booklet. I'm sharing the information with my readers. I was shocked to learn that each year, nearly 5,000 people are treated in hospital emergency rooms for CO poisoning.
What makes carbon monoxide so dangerous is the fact that it is odorless. Initial symptoms of carbon monoxide exposure are similar to the flu (but without the fever), including dizziness, headache, fatigue, nausea and irregular breathing. However, death from carbon monoxide can result without any symptoms -- the overexposed victim simply "falls asleep" and never regains consciousness.
Bottom line: No home should be without an Underwriters Laboratory (UL)-listed CO detector, and the packing instructions should be followed to the letter.
DEAR ABBY: My family and I have a problem I'm sure many of your readers share. We are allergic to many fragrances including soap, potpourri, etc. When I'm exposed to strong scents, my throat closes up and I feel nauseated. I'm 16, and until now I've been able to avoid becoming ill by staying away from the perfume section of department stores.
Abby, I'm dating a very sweet guy (I'll call him "Charles") and I love everything about him -- except his cologne. On dates my nose becomes stuffy and I cough a lot, and I have to take a shower as soon as I get home. When my parents provide the transportation they also become sick.
Charles knows I have allergies, but I'm afraid to tell him the truth because I don't want to offend him. Abby, is there any way I can get him to stop wearing his cologne so we can all breathe a little easier? -- NOSE IN NEW ORLEANS
DEAR NOSE: Tell Charles you are allergic to fragrances -- including his cologne. This is not offensive, and I'm sure he will be happy to cooperate as soon as you let him know what's causing your congestion.
Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Booklets, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)