DEAR ABBY: I have never written to you, but for a number of decades I have frequently read and enjoyed your column. I have even quoted you to patients occasionally. I am now a retired psychiatrist.
I am sufficiently appalled by your answer to "Devastated in New York" -- the woman with the cheating fiance -- to write to you. Heaven help her if she does "proceed with caution" as you advised. She is almost sure to become an abused wife, emotionally if no other way.
My answer would be much more along the lines of: "Trust? Are you serious? This man has lied to you not once but innumerable times over the last year and a half. (Since you say you 'recently discovered' his liaison, I assume he didn't come to you to present this as a problem.) People who habitually lie don't stop. Count yourself exceedingly lucky to have made this discovery now and not later. Any love you feel is left over from the romantic time during which you thought you had a relationship. You will get over it. He is a loser. Do not hesitate to lose him."
I hope you publish some "second thoughts" on your answer. -- HERTA SILZER, M.D., BERKELEY, CALIF.
DEAR DR. SILZER: Not only have I had second thoughts about my answer, but I also realize it did not convey what the young woman needed to hear.
Your answer is better than mine, and I hope "Devastated in New York" sees it.