Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Booklets, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)
Carbon Monoxide Poisoning Claims Hundreds of Lives
DEAR ABBY: You recently printed a letter that dealt with carbon monoxide (CO) poisoning. According to the National Safety Council, more than 200 fatalities per year are attributable to carbon monoxide as a direct result of poorly or improperly vented organic fuel heaters. With just a little education, many of these deaths are entirely preventable.
As a member of the Publications Committee of the American Industrial Hygiene Association, may I call to your attention a pamphlet that may be of importance to your readers? The advice given to your readers was sound, but the pamphlet has more specific actions to take, including ways to tell if a dwelling might possibly have a carbon monoxide problem, as well as information on an important aspect of CO safety -- carbon monoxide detectors.
Interested or concerned readers may request a free copy of the brochure "Carbon Monoxide -- The Silent, Cold Weather Killer" from the American Industrial Hygiene Association at: AIHA Publications, 2700 Prosperity Ave., Suite 250, Fairfax, Va. 22031. (Please enclose a self-addressed, stamped envelope.) Or, they may visit the Web site at www.aiha.org. This brochure is also available in Spanish. -- TIMOTHY H. RYAN, PH.D., ASSISTANT PROFESSOR, OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY
DEAR DR. RYAN: Thank you for the informative booklet. I'm sharing the information with my readers. I was shocked to learn that each year, nearly 5,000 people are treated in hospital emergency rooms for CO poisoning.
What makes carbon monoxide so dangerous is the fact that it is odorless. Initial symptoms of carbon monoxide exposure are similar to the flu (but without the fever), including dizziness, headache, fatigue, nausea and irregular breathing. However, death from carbon monoxide can result without any symptoms -- the overexposed victim simply "falls asleep" and never regains consciousness.
Bottom line: No home should be without an Underwriters Laboratory (UL)-listed CO detector, and the packing instructions should be followed to the letter.
DEAR ABBY: My family and I have a problem I'm sure many of your readers share. We are allergic to many fragrances including soap, potpourri, etc. When I'm exposed to strong scents, my throat closes up and I feel nauseated. I'm 16, and until now I've been able to avoid becoming ill by staying away from the perfume section of department stores.
Abby, I'm dating a very sweet guy (I'll call him "Charles") and I love everything about him -- except his cologne. On dates my nose becomes stuffy and I cough a lot, and I have to take a shower as soon as I get home. When my parents provide the transportation they also become sick.
Charles knows I have allergies, but I'm afraid to tell him the truth because I don't want to offend him. Abby, is there any way I can get him to stop wearing his cologne so we can all breathe a little easier? -- NOSE IN NEW ORLEANS
DEAR NOSE: Tell Charles you are allergic to fragrances -- including his cologne. This is not offensive, and I'm sure he will be happy to cooperate as soon as you let him know what's causing your congestion.
Owner of Sports Restaurant Can Call Time Out on Kids
DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law is a restaurant owner. The atmosphere is casual and slightly sports-oriented, so many of his patrons take their young children to dine. The majority of the time, this is not a problem. However, some adults take children who do not want to be there. They yell and scream and run around the restaurant unattended. It's very disruptive for other patrons.
The staff takes juice, crackers, crayons and coloring books to entertain the children while the adults converse, yet the children continue to be disruptive, and the adults at the table make no effort to address the situation.
On occasion, my brother-in-law has had to ask the adults to do something about the children's behavior and has been met with some very rude responses from the patrons. He needs some additional input about what to do. We'd appreciate any suggestions as to how adults should handle situations where children are misbehaving in a restaurant. -- ROCHELLE IN PHOENIX
DEAR ROCHELLE: The disruptive behavior you describe is not the fault of the children; the parents are responsible for their children's behavior. If the youngsters create a nuisance for other diners, their parents should be asked to give them a "time-out" -- in other words, remove them from the premises until they settle down.
DEAR ABBY: I must disagree with your readers who responded to the mother who wanted her daughter to marry a man of means. I also believe the mother knows her daughter better than they possibly could. For most, giving up one's standard of living would send the "thrill" of married life out the window very soon.
Love does NOT conquer all! No, I am not a snob; I am an 81-year-old "always been poor" lady. I have seen what loss of material things can do to anyone who is not accustomed to doing without. Remember, Abby, men who lost their fortunes committed suicide by jumping out of tall buildings in 1929-1930. People are like that.
Oh, no, a disillusioned wife won't jump out of a window, but she might seriously consider fleeing the coop. A 19-year-old girl has plenty of time to meet young people and evaluate acquaintances before deciding on a life partner. -- A CARING PERSON, DANVILLE, ILL.
DEAR CARING PERSON: Thank you for your letter of support. Although you and I agree, the majority of those who wrote to me felt that the mother was selling her daughter short, the young man showed great promise, and the daughter should follow her heart.
DEAR ABBY: I am a woman who would like to be more confident and less fearful about asking a guy out. Deep down I believe that the guy should be the one to do the asking. I also have a fear of rejection.
There are several guys I'm interested in, but I can't muster the courage to ask them out. What should I do? -- WENDY
DEAR WENDY: Although your feelings are understandable, it is common and acceptable these days for a woman to ask a man out. In order to avoid rejection, drop some "hints" to see if there is any interest before popping the question. And remember: Practice makes perfect. After doing it a few times, you'll find it easier to approach men.
P.S. Between you and me, men also suffer fear of rejection at the prospect of asking a woman out. Now you can empathize.
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Student's Promise Ring Does Not Mean What Teacher Thinks
DEAR ABBY: Our daughter recently turned 14. When she was asked what she wanted for her birthday, she said, "A promise ring." My husband and I sat quietly as our hearts raced with fear of what was coming next. She slowly explained that promise rings are given to daughters by their fathers and a promise is made that the daughter will refrain from having sex until she is married. Years ago, the significance of a promise ring was different.
Needless to say, she got the promise ring for her birthday and has not taken it off since. Abby, I'm asking you to print this letter because when my daughter wore her ring to school the next day, she was ridiculed, degraded and insulted by her teacher for wearing it.
If the teacher had taken a moment to allow my daughter to share the experience with her, she would have thought the ring was a terrific idea. However, my daughter was not given the opportunity. All the students know the significance of promise rings. The teacher was the only one in the dark. Sometimes things aren't as they seem. -- PROUD MOTHER IN ILLINOIS
DEAR PROUD MOTHER: I agree the concept is terrific, because it allows parents and their daughters to discuss and reinforce their family values. If the teacher was guilty of making disparaging remarks about your daughter's ring, you should certainly make your feelings known to the teacher. The significance of the promise ring needs to be explained to this educator.
DEAR ABBY: I'm 27 and engaged to be married next year. "Hal" is honest, loving and compatible, and has all the qualities I've looked for in a man. He has helped me develop into a better and happier person. We've been together five years.
Abby, I'm having second thoughts about our upcoming wedding. I had very little previous dating experience, and I find myself attracted to other men, curious about being with other men sexually and wanting to date others. Yet I don't want to cheat on Hal, and I don't want to get married and then be overwhelmed with these feelings.
My friends and family love Hal and would think I'm a total idiot for the way I feel, so I can't confide in them. I'm also afraid that if I tell Hal my feelings, and postpone or call off the wedding, I could be making the gravest mistake of my life. Help! -- BEWILDERED IN BOSTON
DEAR BEWILDERED: Hal sounds like a wonderful man. However, if you want to date others, you are not ready to be married. I don't have a crystal ball to tell you whether he's the right man for you; only you can decide that. I urge you to have a frank discussion with your fiance about your doubts. You should marry no one until you are sure you want to spend the rest of your life with that individual.
CONFIDENTIAL TO MY MUSLIM READERS: Happy Eid Al-Addah.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)