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Millennium Appears to Be Coming One Year Too Soon
DEAR ABBY: Something very troubling is going on. Everywhere I turn, people are saying that the new millennium starts one second after midnight Dec. 31, 1999. That just isn't true. The correct date is Jan. 1, 2001 -- NOT 2000!
Allow me to explain: There are 100 years in a century. The first century encompassed the years 1 through 100. The second century ran from 101 through 200, the third century from 201 through 300, etc. Get it?
Abby, please urge the media to put this information before the public. Someone once said it takes one small spark to start a prairie fire. Perhaps this one "spark" of information will ignite the candle of wisdom -- and shine some light on an important fact your readers need to know. –-"FATHER TIME" IN THE U.S.A.
DEAR FATHER TIME: I'm embarrassed to confess that I'm one of the guilty parties who referred to 1999 as the "final year of the century," so thank you for providing me an opportunity to set my readers straight. You are one voice in a chorus of individuals who want the public to be made aware that the year 2000 is the final year of the century, and the new millennium begins on Jan. 1, 2001.
I hate to be the one to say this, but you're swimming against a tidal wave. Although you are technically correct, when people see the first digit in the year change from a "1" to a "2," they can't help but think a new century has arrived.
DEAR ABBY: I know you receive thousands of letters, while selecting few for publication.
I am distressed that you saw fit to publish a letter that has anti-Semitic overtones. It pertained to the inquiry made by "Confused in Canada's Capital," regarding a person who used a death in the family for self-serving purposes to create an educational fund for his daughter, when he was "easily able to pay for his daughter's education." The writer then queried, "Is this a Jewish custom?"
Your response, "No, it's not a Jewish custom" could have easily been enclosed in an envelope and sent to the inquirer. To have exposed your millions of readers to a false stereotypic characterization of the Jew was an unfortunate error on your part. It was not simply an innocent request for information, and in my estimation you unwittingly became a "partner in crime" by publishing this nonsense.
The Jewish community is owed an apology. -- DR. STANLEY M. WAGNER, RABBI, DENVER
DEAR RABBI WAGNER: I am Jewish and I disagree. I give the overwhelming majority of my readers credit for not adhering to false stereotypes. The son-in-law's behavior wasn't typical of all Jewish people. To quote an old Yiddish proverb: "Every village has its village idiot" -- even ours. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Regarding the letter from "Confused in Canada" about the son-in-law who placed a solicitation for money for his daughter's education in his father-in-law's obituary: No, it's not a Jewish custom. It's a shanda (disgrace)! -- LOYAL READER IN PALM SPRINGS
DEAR LOYAL READER: Right. As I said in my original answer -- that letter was a first!
Letters on Scrap Paper May Need Reading Between Lines
DEAR ABBY: Why in the world does "Sick of Scraps" care what kind of paper her friend uses to correspond with her? Does she share her mail and is somehow embarrassed? I don't get it. In this age of faxes, cell phones and e-mail, "Sick of Scraps" should be tickled pink she's receiving letters.
Perhaps her friend's finances have not kept pace with inflation.
Does "I love you" mean any less if it is written on the back of an old memo or newsletter? On a more pragmatic level, using scraps of paper helps the planet by recycling paper. The amount of usable paper we throw out every day borders on obscene. –- PAULINE H.G. GETZ, ATTORNEY, SAN DIEGO
DEAR PAULINE: It occurred to me that the friend might have been using "memo pads, odd pieces of paper or whatever appeared to be available" for economic reasons. That's why I suggested that "Sick of Scraps" send her friend a box of stationery. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: "Sick of Scraps" seems to be more interested in pretty paper than she is in her "cherished friendship." Personally, if my friend wrote letters to me on scraps, I'd be more concerned for her financial needs. After all, they're both in their 70s and are most likely retired. Has it even occurred to "Sick of Scraps" that her friend might not wish to burden her with such information?
Your response to send a box of stationery didn't even address that woman's rudeness to her friend. Your suggestion bothered me because there have been times when I couldn't afford even cheap stationery, but I still wanted to be in touch with my dear friends. True friends don't judge the book by its cover (or the letter by its paper). Didn't you notice how petty her complaint was?
I'm only 43, but I'm thankful for my cherished friends and whatever way they choose to stay in touch. -– JONI KELLY, NOLANVILLE, TEXAS
DEAR JONI: The woman wasn't rude to her friend. She addressed her concerns to me. And as to whether I noticed that her values might be skewed in the wrong direction, I advised her that a 36-year friendship should be more important to her than the kind of paper (stationery) that sustained it across the distance.
I agree, true friends don't judge a book by its cover -– or the letter by the paper on which it is written. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Sick of Scraps" reminded me of how the correspondence between my mother and her sister deteriorated as they both sank deep into dementia.
Relatives of the elderly would do well to read "The 36-Hour Day" (Johns Hopkins University Press). It's an excellent treatise on dementia. –- KIRBY A. WILLIAMS, MARTINEZ, CALIF.
DEAR KIRBY: Thank you for your succinct and thought-provoking note. It hadn't occurred to me that either of the women might be suffering from mental impairment. Now that you have pointed it out, I agree it's worth considering since the woman's behavior changed abruptly four years ago.
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Scrap Paper Correspondent Saves Money and the Earth
DEAR ABBY: My message to "Sick of Scraps," the woman who wrote you to complain about receiving letters from her longtime friend, "Ellen," on odd pieces of paper is: Guess what! Your friend Ellen has become a "green senior" -– an older environmentalist. By recycling odd pieces of paper, she's doing her part to conserve forests and her own resources. Go through your junk mail, select a letter with a clean side, and write her back! -- ANOTHER GREEN SENIOR, HELENA, MONT.
DEAR GREEN SENIOR: The responses to "Sick of Scraps'" letter have been varied and interesting. Some readers thought she was petty and mean-spirited. Others read more into it. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: "Sick of Scraps" said she and her friend were both in their 70s, and it really struck a chord with me, as I, too, am in my 70s.
I can identify with "Ellen." We were Depression babies, and if she was raised as I was, we were taught to "waste not, want not." I, too, use odds and ends of paper to write notes –- even though I have pretty stationery. I recycle wrapping paper, pressing it with an iron to use it again. (My children and grandchildren tease me about it.) I also drape paper towels on a rack to reuse if they've been used only to wipe up water.
Like so many people, we were very poor during those years, and the lessons learned then I shall take to my grave. One of the things that really bothers me today is the waste, not only of materials, but of food.
I'm always delighted to hear from a friend, regardless of what the message is written on. "Sick of Scraps" is fortunate to have had such a cherished friendship for 36 years. -– "NANNY" FROM NEWPORT NEWS, VA.
DEAR NANNY: I applaud your sense of priorities, not only about the value of friendship but also the importance of preserving your assets. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: As the publisher of a frugality newsletter, I see a lot of scrap-paper correspondence. For most who do this, it's a harmless little penny-pinching habit, but for others, it is a signal that all is not well either mentally or financially. I'd recommend that your reader gently comment on her friend's scrap-paper letters and see what kind of response she receives.
Intense frugality at this stage of life may signal several distressing possibilities: The woman may have real financial problems or imagined fears of outliving her money. Either situation could cause an obsessive type of scrimping. Or, if this is an abrupt change in personality -– apparently she has enjoyed nice stationery in the past -– it may be a warning sign of a mental deterioration that should be investigated.
Thrift is certainly commendable and we encourage it, but its sudden appearance in an extreme form in someone of this age needs further looking into. –- EDITH FLOWERS KILGO, "CREATIVE DOWNSCALING," JONESBORO, GA.
DEAR EDITH: Thank you for pointing this out, and also for the suggestion that Ellen's friend "gently comment" about the scrap-paper letters to see how her friend responds. It certainly couldn't hurt. You have added some valuable insight.
READERS: Stay tuned; more on this subject tomorrow.
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