DEAR ABBY: In response to "Old-Fashioned Southern Lady" and to others who say they don't like prenuptial agreements: I would like them to consider the truth about marriage. Anyone getting married in a "Christian marriage" (and other religious or public weddings) realizes that the church wedding and the marriage license are two separate and different entities.
The marriage license must be signed by both parties and recorded by the state before the marriage is legally recognized by the state (except in common-law marriages). Therefore, by definition, this, too, is a "prenuptial agreement" in which you give the state in which you reside the power to determine how marital assets will be divided in case of death or divorce. Like it or not, a marriage is a legal arrangement and should not be left in the hands of an arbitrary document that leaves the state with all the rights.
So, instead of trusting the assets of their marriage to the state government, intelligent adults should discuss and write down their common beliefs as to what would be fair if the unthinkable happens. That's why we buy life insurance. We may not like the idea of having to prepare for tragic circumstances, but a wise couple prepares their marriage for all possible outcomes. -– BRADY L. CROM, PSYCHOLOGIST, HAWTHORNE, CALIF.
DEAR BRADY: You have explained it very well. I have always urged couples contemplating marriage, particularly those who have been married before and have children, to have a prenuptial agreement. In the event of death or divorce, it can prevent grief, heartache and misunderstanding. It brings to mind the Boy Scout motto, "Be Prepared."