DEAR ABBY: I have a sister I love very much, but I don't understand her. Although she is 35 years old, she still relies on her family to take care of her. And if we don't do it quickly enough, she gets an attitude and won't speak to us for weeks at a time.
Abby, her behavior is hurtful, especially to our father. Frankly, I'm tired of the situation. Please advise me how to handle this. -- SISTERLY TROUBLE
DEAR SISTERLY TROUBLE: You didn't mention whether your sister has emotional problems, or whether she's dependent simply because she can be. As long as she has you to shore her up, why should she tread water for herself? If there is no compelling reason why the family should bail her out, you are doing her a disservice by doing so.
By age 35, your sister should have taken responsibility for herself, so get the family to stand together and send her the message that she's on her own. Of course, I wouldn't expect you to let her drown -- but convince her she must try to save herself before she goes down for the third time.