DEAR ABBY: In less than two months, I'm to be an attendant in my best friend's wedding. There's just one problem -- I'm in love with the groom.
For the last 18 months, we have been attending the same school. His fiancee lives far away. In my opinion, he and I are perfect for each other. We make each other laugh and we have so much in common. This isn't just a crush, and I can't imagine life without him. Sometimes it seems like he has feelings for me, too. He makes comments that make me think he's torn between her and me.
Abby, should I tell him how I feel, or keep my mouth shut and fulfill my role as bridesmaid in the wedding? Please help. -- HOPELESSLY IN LOVE
DEAR HOPELESSLY: Perhaps you and the groom don't have as much in common as you seem to think. You may laugh together and have similar interests, but if he loved you as you are hoping he does, he wouldn't be going to the altar with your best friend. Trust me, if he felt as you do, he would have made it plain by now.
If you can, put your wishful thinking on the back burner, fulfill your attendant's duties and be a part of the wedding. However, if there's any chance that your feelings will surface during the wedding, beg off your commitment now so the bride will have time to replace you.
DEAR ABBY: The other day someone asked me if I remember when "Taylor," my 2-year-old daughter, loved to play with golf balls. I tried hard to remember, but the truth is I don't recall it.
About three months ago, I decided to start a journal for my daughter. In it, I tell her what's going on in her life and in mine. I have written in it every month, and it doesn't take that long to do. Taylor recently learned to spell her name, say her ABCs, and she even knows her days of the week. I'm not sure I'll remember in 20 years what she did at a specific age. This way, I'll have written it down for her to see.
I frequently ask my mom how old I was when I did this or that. She replies, "I think you were 2 or 3." I would urge parents to take the time to write a journal for each of their children. If nothing else, it will let them know how special they are to you. -- KRISTIN HAWKINS, TEXARKANA, TEXAS
DEAR KRISTIN: I'm passing your excellent idea along to mothers everywhere. The fact that your journal picks up where the average "baby book" ends is especially appealing.
DEAR ABBY: You are always looking for letters about heroes and heroines. Well, I have one for you!
My grandmother lives in a retirement home in West Palm Beach, Fla. Her name is Elsie Simon. Every day she reads the paper to the ladies there who can't read it themselves, and the high point of it is your column. Not a day goes by without her reading your words to the group, and they all look forward to it.
My grandmother has always been a giving person, and she remains so today. I think it would make her happy to read in your column that I love her and am thinking of her.
Thank you, Abby. You have done a lot of good in your work. Keep it up. -- GILBERT B. SIMON, TITUSVILLE, FLA.
DEAR GILBERT: Thank you for the compliment. Your Grandmother Elsie sounds like a peach of a woman who brightens the day for everyone who is lucky enough to know her.
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
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