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by Abigail Van Buren

Boss's Wandering Hands Are Pushing Teen Out the Door

DEAR ABBY: We live next door to a military man and his wife. We like them both very much, and help each other with little things. His wife is older than he and has health problems.

My husband and I know positively that he's having an affair with a married woman he met several months ago when he was going through some additional training.

Knowing about his affair makes it difficult to be in their company. We certainly do not condone his behavior. We are very uncomfortable when certain things are said. We feel caught in the middle because we learned about his affair accidentally.

We would never butt into their business, but they are both friendly with us. We purposely avoid them at times. We know the affair is continuing, and that he's thinking of leaving his wife, but he doesn't want to be ruined financially.

If we suddenly distance ourselves from them, they'll wonder why. We feel trapped in our home because they always talk to us when we are in the yard.

Have you any suggestions about how to handle this situation? We're old enough to be his parents. -- MARY IN BREMERTON

DEAR MARY: A good neighbor is there to help, not judge. The way to handle this situation is to mind your own business. You are "trapped" in your home only if you choose to be. Unless they seek your advice, stay on your own side of the fence.