DEAR ABBY: What is the protocol for a young woman who has a wedding shower and two weeks later postpones her wedding? How does she go about notifying the people who attended the shower? And what should be done with the gifts? -- MR. WONDERING
DEAR MR. WONDERING: A brief note from the bride-to-be, explaining to the shower guests that the wedding has been postponed, should suffice.
There are no hard-and-fast rules about the rest of the scenario. Courtesy and common sense should prevail. If a wedding is canceled, unused gifts should be returned with a brief note. Since a postponement is not a cancellation, only a delay, the gifts need not be returned. However, if the postponement is expected to be a matter of many months, with little realistic expectation that the wedding will ever take place, the gifts should be returned.