What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: For the last nine years, thousands of your readers have written and called us at the American Optometric Association to apply for free eye care available to low-income working people through VISION USA.
Although this service helps people of all ages, VISION USA 2000 will mark the start of the program's emphasis on aiding children. This focus aligns with VISION USA's commitment to "America's Promise -- The Alliance for Youth," a program headed by retired Gen. Colin Powell and dedicated to helping "at risk" youth.
Each year, more than 7,000 optometrists donate their services to VISION USA. Since the program's beginning, free eye exams have been provided to more than a quarter of a million children and adults. Among those helped was an 8-year-old boy diagnosed with a detached retina. The VISION USA optometrist arranged for eye surgery at no cost, which saved the boy's vision.
An 11-year-old girl who was extremely nearsighted had broken her glasses and her parents couldn't afford new ones. After a new pair was donated, she reported that she could now see the chalkboard even from the back of the classroom. One young girl was thought to have a learning disability, but after an eye exam, it was discovered that she was farsighted and had a high degree of astigmatism. With glasses, she is now able to see, and her schoolwork has improved considerably.
We hope you will alert your readers to the VISION USA 2000 program. Application forms are available now from VISION USA, 243 N. Lindbergh Blvd., St. Louis, MO 63141, or on the AOA Web site (www.aoanet.org) in the "Meet the AOA" section (click on the VISION USA logo). Many libraries now offer free Internet access for persons without a home computer. Completed forms must be postmarked by Jan. 20, 2000.
Abby, we appreciate your support of VISION USA. You are helping many hardworking, deserving people and their children to see better and to have healthy eyes. -- HARVEY P. HANLEN, O.D., PRESIDENT, AMERICAN OPTOMETRIC ASSOCIATION
DEAR DR. HANLEN: I'm pleased to help spread the word.
Readers, from Jan. 3 to Jan. 31, 2000, low-income working people can be screened for eligibility for VISION USA by calling (800) 766-4466. Phone lines will be open weekdays from 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. (CST). Interested persons are encouraged to apply early, in writing, because of the heavy demand for the phone lines in January.
To qualify for the free eye care, persons must: have a job or live in a household where there is one working member; have no health insurance that covers eye examinations; have an income below an established level based on household size; and have had no eye exam within the last two years. Eligibility requirements may vary in some states.
DEAR ABBY: I have recently become aware of my impressionable personality. Growing up as a child I used to help my father roll joints and eventually started smoking pot. During my college years, my roommate was a purse-snatcher and I started snatching purses with him. Just recently, I started a job with a man who cross-dresses. The high heels are ruining my feet and I don't look very good in miniskirts. Please help me. -- SUGGESTIBLE IN LAS VEGAS
DEAR SUGGESTIBLE: You not only have an impressionable personality, you also have a bizarre sense of humor. I suspect you also know someone who writes crank letters to advice columnists.
Your "problem" will become an asset as soon as you start surrounding yourself with people who are involved in constructive activities such as volunteer work. Please don't wait.
Legacy of Teen Solvent Abuse Is Life of Craving and Despair
DEAR ABBY: When I read your column about "huffing" chemicals, I had to respond.
I was a teen-age solvent abuser. For most of my early school days, I was an overachiever. I was not popular, but I had one or two good friends and was active in Scouting and volunteer activities. Because I was into books and getting good grades, by junior high I was teased and beaten up by my schoolmates. High school brought more of the same merciless harassment. I began to withdraw into solitary activities and discovered model building.
My descent into hell began innocently. I loved to build model cars, boats and planes. I discovered that the fumes from the glue gave me a buzz. Soon I was buying as much as a tube of model glue a day and huffing the fumes. I staggered around in a fog most of the time, couldn't remember things, and my grades slipped badly.
I heard something on the news about kids who had died as a result of sniffing Pam. I decided to try that as well, secretly hoping it would kill me. I huffed a number of other aerosol products, too. In my depression, I tried to kill myself by taking an overdose of aspirin. No luck. After the second overdose, a friend began dragging me along to activities and events and focused my attention on other things. My depression lifted, I managed to pull myself together, and I finished high school near the top of my class.
A couple of years later depression set in again. I dropped out of life and began huffing glue again. I huffed myself into unconsciousness and even a couple of seizures. Paranoia and hallucinations became the norm. I woke up once and found myself carrying on a conversation with a tree -- yes, it was answering back! The police were called when I was found running around with a knife, sure someone was out to get me. I was hospitalized on at least three occasions.
Fast-forward 20 years: What do I have to show for my stupidity today? I stutter, and confuse similar-sounding words in conversation. My hands shake. I frequently have problems remembering things for more than a few minutes. Worse yet, I'm now allergic to fragranced items including fabric softeners, detergent, hand lotion, perfume, cologne, hairspray and household cleaning items. Did you know that perfumes contain toxic chemicals such as toluene -- the same stuff that's in model glue?
Even though chemicals make me horribly ill, the craving to abuse them never quits! On a good day, I hate myself for the damage I've done to my brain and body. On a bad day, I wish I had succeeded in committing suicide years ago.
Parents: Pay attention to your children and their behavior. Have your children taken an unusual interest in being alone? Does their breath, clothes or room smell funny? Do they have balance problems while walking across a room? Difficulty sleeping? No appetite? Paranoia? Grades falling? Apathetic? Personal hygiene lacking? Do you find plastic bags with strange-looking dried-up white stuff in them? Your children could be abusing glue or aerosol products!
Get them help -- and don't take "no" for an answer. Abusing household products is as dangerous as abusing illegal drugs. -- SENSELESS IN SEATTLE
DEAR SENSELESS: You may never know how many people you have helped today by giving such a graphic warning to teens and their parents. Your letter is unmistakable proof that substance abuse may mask an even deeper problem, and a caring, tuned-in parent should not minimize or ignore it.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
To Wife of Man He Saved, This Doctor Walks on Water
DEAR ABBY: I have been reading the letters in your column about acts of kindness, and I'd like to tell you about the young man who saved my husband from drowning. Please don't reveal my name if this is printed. My husband is embarrassed about the incident.
He and I were on vacation in Hawaii and went snorkeling at 8 a.m., something we had done many times before. However, this time, when my husband, who is asthmatic, looked up and realized how far from the beach we were, he panicked, and it brought on an asthma attack. He kept saying he couldn't breathe and he wouldn't try to swim. I tried to get him to hold onto me so I could pull him in (I'm a strong swimmer), but he kept saying we weren't getting anywhere and pulling away from me.
We were right in front of a hotel, and I could see people on their balconies. I began yelling for someone to help. No one came. As we were bobbing around, my husband kept drifting away. I continued to yell for help.
A young man suddenly appeared on the rocks in his bathing suit, wearing a snorkel mask and carrying fins. He climbed down the sharp coral rocks and yelled that he was coming to us, and we should just relax. For some reason, my husband was able to believe him, and they started a conversation. The young man put on his flippers and entered the water, which was dangerous because of the rocks and the surging waters. He took hold of my husband, told him to relax -- then pulled him all the way to the beach while I swam on my own.
When we reached the sand, not one person came forward to help us, although many were standing and watching. No one said a word. The young man told us he was a physician and gave us his name. He was Dr. Tom Elgin from California. If it weren't for his courageous action, I doubt my husband would have survived. I bless him in my prayers daily. I hope God is good to him. -- GRATEFUL IN FLORIDA
DEAR GRATEFUL: Your letter gives new meaning to doctors as lifesavers. Dr. Elgin was indeed a hero -- and I'll bet he's going to be surprised when he begins hearing from friends and acquaintances all across the country telling him so.
P.S. Tell your husband to stay in shallow water hereafter.
DEAR ABBY: A reader wrote you asking for some thoughts on friendship. I would like to share mine. It is one of the best descriptions of true friendship I have ever read. It was given to me by a friend; I do not know the author.
FRIENDSHIP
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person.
Having neither to weigh thoughts
Nor measure words, but pouring them
All right out -- just as they are --
Chaff and grain together --
Certain that a faithful hand will
Take and sift them,
Keeping what is worth keeping,
And with a breath of kindness
Blow the rest away.
-- DICK IN ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.
DEAR DICK: Noble words, indeed, and well worth sharing. Thank you for sending them my way -- and Merry Christmas.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)