DEAR ABBY: I read with interest the letter from "Wishing for Comfortable Shoes" and wondered why the mother of the bride is dictating what the bride should be wearing. This is the bride and groom's special day -- not the mother's. Mother needs to lighten up, or she not only will spoil the bride's entire day, but also everyone at the affair will notice how miserable the bride is. That's not a healthy way to start off a marriage.
I married 3 1/2 years ago. I wore a beautiful white dress with plain white sneakers, and replaced the shoelaces with blue ribbon that matched the dresses worn by my bridesmaids. And I was comfortable the entire day. -- COMFORTABLE IN DELAWARE
DEAR COMFORTABLE: I received a bushel of mail from like-minded, practical women such as you. I hope the bride-to-be sees this column and heeds what you -- and they -- have to say. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Whenever I'm invited to a bridal shower, or hear of an upcoming wedding, I not only buy the happy couple a shower gift, I also take the time to decorate some plain white lace-up sneakers with ribbons, lace, roses and bows to match the color of the bride's dress. I also enclose a little poem. It's a special and personal gift for the bride to keep forever. (It gets many ooohs and ahhhs from everyone who attends the shower.)
I am the mother of three daughters, and I'll make sure that their wedding will be what they choose, not what I choose. -- PAM T. IN DANIELSVILLE, GA.
DEAR PAM T.: You have hit upon a terrific idea for a shower gift. You must be a very talented lady. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I have been a professional wedding photographer for more than 15 years. I have seen every kind of footwear, from cowboy boots to simulated "glass" slippers.
A few weeks ago, one of my clients came up with a clever solution to the wedding-day shoe dilemma. The bride wore traditional dress shoes for the ceremony, but before the couple left the reception, she changed into a pair of adorable white sneakers that her mother had hand-decorated with lace, sequins and beads. (She applied them using a glue gun.) The photo we took of mother and daughter with those shoes is one of their favorites. Those who noticed them at the reception thought it was a great idea.
I hope that "Wishing's" mom will loosen up. The best thing any bride can do for herself is wear comfortable shoes. -- DALLAS WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER
DEAR DALLAS: I agree. One reader told me she wore Isotoner slippers that matched her gown. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Your advice to "Wishing for Comfortable Shoes in Parsippany, N.J." should have been, "Elope!" A mother as selfish, self-centered and inconsiderate as she is should be left holding the high heels.
Whose wedding is it, anyway? -- ELAINE T., PORTLAND, ORE.
DEAR ELAINE: I think we all know the answer to that question. But don't be so hard on the mother. Almost every woman who gives birth to a daughter has a fantasy of how she'd like her daughter's wedding day to be. "Wishing's" mother is just having a little trouble letting go of her dream. I'm willing to bet that after she sees this column she'll compromise.
CONFIDENTIAL TO EDWARD JAY: Happy birthday, son. Your father and I are so very proud of you.
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
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