DEAR ABBY: I am a 32-year-old mother of two, and yes, I am married. This is my second marriage, and we've been together for seven long years. My husband is a drunk. He does work two jobs, but when he's home on the weekends, he stays drunk.
At first, I didn't mind being the adult. (I thought it was my job.) But it has gotten really old, and I'm tired of it.
I know that if I leave, my husband will make it hard on me, and he'll tell the kids more than they should know. They are 11 and 5. The kids have seen and been through enough already. How can I leave if he's going to put the children through this? I'm not sure how this should be handled. -- STUCK IN THE SUNSHINE STATE
DEAR STUCK: Your husband appears to be what is called a "functional alcoholic." Before you do anything else, attend some meetings of Al-Anon. Al-Anon, an offshoot of Alcoholics Anonymous, assists spouses and families of alcoholics and is listed in the telephone book -- or you can call directory assistance for the number. There you will find people like yourself who may be able to help you change the way you react to your husband's problem. It could save your marriage.
If the marriage is really over, before you leave, explain to your children what is coming and the fact that their father is going to be angry about it and will say things that are untrue and that he doesn't really mean. Reinforce that message as necessary.