Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Research Gives 'Club Drugs' Less Than Rave Reviews
DEAR ABBY: Please alert your readers to a problem of grave concern. (No pun intended.) "Club drugs" are becoming the "rave" with teens and young adults at all-night dance parties across the country. While those who use Ecstasy, GHB, Rohypnol -- to name only a few of these drugs -- may think they have no side effects, the reality is that these drugs are potentially life-threatening. Whether kids knowingly use these drugs or have them surreptitiously slipped into their drinks at "rave" parties, they can produce a range of effects -- including hallucinations, paranoia, amnesia and even death.
Ecstasy, which goes by several names including "X," "Adam" and "MDMA," is both a stimulant and a hallucinogen. People may use Ecstasy for energy to keep on dancing and improve their mood. However, this drug increases the heart rate and body temperature, occasionally to the point of heart and kidney failure. It also appears to diminish the sense of thirst, and Ecstasy users have died from acute dehydration.
In addition, brain-imaging studies have shown that frequent Ecstasy use may damage brain cells that produce serotonin, a natural chemical that is partly responsible for memory and mood. It is still not known if these cells can regenerate, so the memory loss -- and perhaps additional, still-to-be discovered serotonin-related impairments -- may be long-lasting or permanent.
GHB ("G," "liquid Ecstasy") and Rohypnol ("roofie," "Roche") have been associated with "date rape" and sexual assault cases around the country. These two drugs, which are colorless, odorless and tasteless, have been easily slipped in the drinks of unknowing victims. Because both GHB and Rohypnol cause sedation and produce amnesia, they often prevent a sexual assault victim from identifying and successfully prosecuting the perpetrator.
Widespread use of Ecstasy, GHB and Rohypnol is relatively recent. The worst effects of these drugs may be the ones that are not yet known. Researchers, supported by the National Institute of Drug Abuse, are studying "club drugs" with a sense of urgency. Although we still have much to learn about the effects of these drugs, we already know that they can be extremely harmful.
On Dec. 2, we will launch a National Club Drug Initiative that will include issuing a Community Drug Alert Bulletin explaining what science says about the effects of these drugs. In addition, we will be working with several national organizations to get the word out to parents, teens and others about the dangers of these drugs. We also have information about these and other drugs on our Web site at www.drugabuse.gov. Or, your readers can call (800) 729-6686 to request free copies of these materials. Thank you for your help in getting the word out, Abby. -- ALAN I. LESHNER, Ph.D., DIRECTOR, NATIONAL INSTITUTE OF DRUG ABUSE
DEAR DR. LESHNER: I applaud your research, and I'm pleased to help.
When will people learn that there is no free lunch? There is a price to pay for every mood-altering chemical people put into their bodies. One can only hope that the substance is not addictive and the effects aren't permanent. Years ago, many people thought that cocaine was not addictive. Then fortunes were lost and lives were ruined or lost when the opposite turned out to be true.
I hope your Web site will be visited by people of all ages. Young people need to know everything they can about what they are putting into their bodies so they can make informed judgments. And as to the "date rape" drugs -- it has reached the point that people should not drink beverages at clubs or parties unless they have opened the container themselves and had the beverages in their possession AT ALL TIMES.
Holiday Cheer Can't Be Spread Too Thin for Dieting Guests
DEAR ABBY: Along with millions of other Americans, I am overweight. This time of year is particularly difficult for me because of the well-intentioned but misguided actions of friends and family. With the holidays upon us, I have the following suggestions for anyone who knows someone who is fighting the battle of the bulge (and who doesn't?):
1. Avoid giving gifts of food. This means ALL food -- even your special sugar-free coconut cream pie. Giving chocolates or other fattening treats is, at the least, insensitive and borders on downright cruelty.
2. Do not "push" food on another person. If you're hosting a meal or a party, make a variety of healthy foods available along with any special treats you've prepared. Allow your guests to choose for themselves without comment. It is especially unfair to use guilt ("I made these just for you") to force food upon someone.
3. Do not comment on how much (or how little) someone is eating. Such comments draw unwanted attention to attempts to maintain control of holiday eating.
4. Have some compassion. We don't want to be fat. Losing weight and keeping it off is extraordinarily difficult for some of us. Don't think that you know what our problem is, because you don't. Obesity is a complicated issue with behavioral, emotional and spiritual elements. A single formula that works for everyone has yet to be discovered.
Finally, be supportive. If someone you love is trying to lose weight, be available to listen. Do not judge. -- CHUBBY IN PITTSBURGH
DEAR CHUBBY: Your suggestions are terrific and well worth space in this column. Obesity has reached epidemic proportions in this country, and those who are trying to do something about the problem deserve all the help and support they can get. Dieting is difficult any time of year. But during the holidays with temptation all around, it's especially difficult to make it through the minefield.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 38 years. During the past 10 of them, we have taken up dancing, and folks think we're pretty good.
My problem is, the place where we go has women who have no dancing partner, and they all want to dance with my husband, which leaves me sitting part of the night. There is one woman in particular who is younger than I am and who wants to do all the dances that I like to do with him. She had a dancing partner until just a few months ago. Actually, her husband is there, too, but he doesn't dance.
My husband will tell me he's too tired to dance to anything fast, and then she will ask him and he jumps up. He always says I should go ask other men to dance, but there is really no one there who can dance the way I like. Am I wrong to let this bother me? -- CONFUSED IN WHITE PINE, TENN.
DEAR CONFUSED: It all depends upon how many dances you're sitting out. Your husband is probably flattered by the attention he's getting from all of these partnerless ladies. If one of them asks your husband for a dance that's one of your favorites, speak up and tell her that it's already spoken for -- and she should try again later. It's better than sitting and fuming.
Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)
Irritated Mammographer Needs to Stand in Patient's Place
DEAR ABBY: Your response to "Frustrated and Unappreciated," the mammographer who found it irritating to be asked, "Is this all you do, all day long?" was right on the mark. However, "Frustrated" also needs to gain a deeper understanding of her patients, as well as sensitivity toward them.
Has it not occurred to her that perhaps that question was an attempt at "small talk" by women who felt uncomfortable having a mammogram? Because of my medical and family history, I have had mammograms yearly since I was 35. After 10 years, I still do not find the procedure of having the mammographer touch me to lift, pull and smash a personal part of my body between two plates of plastic something I look forward to or feel comfortable with. Usually the mammographer is a different health-care professional from the prior year, therefore, a stranger. I have had mammographers who made me feel as much at ease as possible, but I have also experienced a few who treated my breast as if a woman was not attached to it.
"Frustrated" needs to understand and empathize. It's important she remember that her job in performing mammographies is more routine for her than it is for her patients. Perhaps understanding this will help her to focus on her patients' feelings, and not become frustrated over a question. -- DOES IT, BUT DOESN'T LIKE IT, SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS
DEAR DOES IT: I suspect that the reason the majority of women "do it but don't like it" has something to do with modesty, and also the fact that it's like stepping up to a slot machine that reminds us of our potential mortality. In fairness to the majority of mammographers, I have found them to be efficient, gentle and caring. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I am writing in response to "Frustrated and Unappreciated Mammographer":
Please, do not think for a minute that you are unappreciated. Without your dedication and professionalism, I and many others would be a statistic instead of a survivor. Breast cancer, which has no symptoms, would go undetected without you.
I thank God every day that you "do what you do all day long." I am forever grateful that you were a part of my life. We may not have a chance to thank each of you personally, but for me and all of those others, I say, "Thank you! We need you."
Each day you go to work, another lucky woman may be saved. Together, we will someday wipe out this disease. I am forever in your debt. -- JOY HOPKINS, MARCO ISLAND, FLA.
DEAR JOY: (You are aptly named!) When people are stressed out or ill, they're often unable to express their gratitude to the caring individuals who go the extra mile on their behalf. Your letter is sure to be appreciated not only by mammographers nationwide, but by every health-care professional who reads it.
DEAR ABBY: I'm being married next year and I need to know -- when I send out "save-the-date" cards for my wedding, do I send them to everyone I'm inviting, or only to out-of-town guests? I'm not sure which way to go. What's your advice? -- LAURA IN PHOENIX
DEAR LAURA: "Save-the-date" cards are typically sent to announce forthcoming charity events. You should not send one for a wedding. Your wedding invitations -- which should be sent four to six weeks in advance -- should be enough notice.
However, if you think that some of your prospective guests might have a schedule conflict at that time, telephone them with the good news and ask them to save the date.
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)