DEAR ABBY: My husband of 12 years has just informed me that he has invited his former girlfriend to our home for an upcoming weekend. He wants her to see our home and city. He says he just wants to talk with an old friend with whom he has a lot in common and has not seen for 15 years.
Abby, over the last two years, he has talked with this woman about once a month or so. It never occurred to me to be jealous or concerned because I trusted him and he's never given me any reason not to. He would tell me about their conversations if I wasn't in when she called. It was never an issue for me until he invited her to spend the weekend without consulting me.
When I told him I would feel uncomfortable having "Rene" stay with us, especially since she's not a mutual friend of ours, he accused me of being insecure, became extremely angry and was silent for several days. He also told me that if I don't agree to it, then he will see her in secret.
I was shocked and assumed he spoke out of anger. Now I'm not so sure. Have you any thoughts on this? -- ERODED TRUST IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA
DEAR ERODED TRUST: Many. If the situation were reversed and you informed your husband that an old boyfriend he had never met was coming to spend a weekend in your home, I'm sure he would have been shocked and angered that you had acted without first consulting him.
Ordinarly, I wouldn't advise giving in to blackmail. However, since he's threatening to "see her in secret" if you don't agree to accommodate her, put on your most charming face and play hostess of the year. And if you or any of your friends know an attractive, unattached bachelor, invite him over for a lovely family dinner.
DEAR ABBY: My parents did not need more "stuff" to mark their 50th anniversary. So we, their eight children, decided to include the following on the party invitation:
"In lieu of gifts, donations to Our Daily Bread, a non-discriminatory soup kitchen, will be accepted at the door. All donations will be forwarded to Our Daily Bread in the names of Bob and Mary Lou."
Abby, the 60 or so guests responded with donations amounting to more than $1,500. Our parents were overwhelmed, as was the director of the soup kitchen, at the generosity of their friends and family. -- BOB AND MARY LOU FOLZENLOGEN'S CHILDREN, CINCINNATI
DEAR 'CHILDREN': My congratulations to your parents. They have a great deal of which to be proud, and the values of their children are only the beginning. Your idea is terrific.
DEAR ABBY: This may seem like a strange question, but I was trying to find out because this is kind of important. You see, I had my nipples pierced, and I am pregnant.
I was wondering if I took the rings out and they healed, would I be able to breast-feed? -- CRYSTAL IN CONNECTICUT
DEAR CRYSTAL: I see no reason why you should not be able to. I checked with the La Leche League, and their representative told me there are no known cases where piercing the nipple interfered with nursing a baby.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
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