DEAR ABBY: I agreed 100 percent with your advice to "Deserted in New Orleans," the man whose wife deserted him and their 5-year-old son. You advised him that if he could let her go without bitterness, he would be the winner in the long run, and to please consider counseling for himself and his son to help them through the heartbreak of being deserted.
We cannot choose or control what others do to us, only how we react to it. At the risk of sounding cynical, "deadbeats" come in all forms -- dads, moms, children who ignore aging parents, spouses who cheat, partners who embezzle, and so on.
Let's hope "Deserted" will hang onto the positive and slough off the negative. By the way, just because he "lets her go without bitterness," he should NOT release her from her financial debts or child-support obligations. When you adopt a child, you agree in a court of law to be responsible for that child as though you birthed him yourself. A college-educated woman with a "good job in Florida" can still do much for her child financially. Good luck and God bless him and his son.
Abby, thanks for all you do. People need to hear supportive words. The ability to encourage others is a God-given gift as important as any other. Please don't reveal my name or location. This is a universal message. -- KINDRED SPIRIT
DEAR K.S.: Thank you for the kind words. When I advised "Deserted" to let his wife go without bitterness, I did not mean to imply that he should do it without legal representation. In a situation such as the one the writer experienced, a lawyer is not only a great comfort, he or she is also an absolute necessity.