Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Keep Practicality in Mind When Shopping for Seniors
DEAR ABBY: This is the time of year people begin thinking, "What should I get Mom, Dad and Aunt Tillie for Christmas?" Well, I AM a mom and an Aunt Tillie, and I filled Dad's shoes for more years than I care to count. So, for all of you who haven't a clue what "we" would like, keep reading:
Don't try to buy me happiness with a token gift. Most of all, I'd love just a little of your time.
If you want to buy something for me, I'd appreciate a box of all-occasion greeting cards. A roll of stamps to go with them would also be helpful, so that when my old friends have a reason to celebrate, I'll not have to venture to the store or post office. (An assortment of gift wrap and Scotch tape are another novel idea.)
You all know how much I love flowers -- not the cut bouquets from a florist, but real plants from a nursery, delivered at the right time for planting in the spring. Something like that can be enjoyed all year, and I'll remember your thoughtfulness every time I look at them.
My little doggie needs grooming every month. How about a gift certificate? They make terrific gifts. Also, I would never spend household budget money for a manicure, pedicure or massage, but a gift certificate for one would certainly be welcome. Or one for a car wash, or the next trip to the dry cleaner or shoe repair shop.
What about a gift certificate for a dinner for two, so I can treat a good friend to a meal and company because HER family is also busy? Have you forgotten how much I enjoy Reader's Digest, Family Circle and TV Guide? I can't afford subscriptions anymore, but they would be a lot more welcome than bubble bath that I'm now allergic to.
Also, if you want to give me something, how about a prepaid phone card, or a few bucks prepaid on my telephone bill? And if you're feeling generous, how about contacting the company that aerates my lawn, the chimney sweep or, for that matter, the mechanic who readies my car for winter?
You see, we're not as difficult to buy for as you thought. You have simply forgotten who we really are. We're not "those old people down the street." We're the parents who always knew what you wanted or needed -- because we loved you.
Thanks for the space, Dear Abby. I hope my kids are listening. -- ANY PARENT OR GRANDPARENT, ANYTOWN, U.S.A.
DEAR ANY: Thanks for a letter that's sure to start a lot of people thinking creatively about the Christmas holidays. Another idea is to create customized gift baskets filled with small cans of tuna, salmon, chicken and turkey, hearty soups, and "goodies" that someone on a fixed income might forgo. Put on your thinking caps, folks. The season is at hand!
DEAR ABBY: Every year I read about the urgent need for organ donation, and the tragedy of people who die waiting for one.
Don't you think it would be a good idea to give people a tax rebate who pledged their organs for transplant upon their death? It seems to me it would solve our country's great need for donor organs with a nationwide system of registration and reward.
I was going to send my idea to Washington, but I believe your column would be more effective, and has no political agenda. Do offer this idea to your readers. -- PEGGY MARTIN, VENICE, FLA.
DEAR PEGGY: It's an intriguing idea. One way to make the option more attractive would be for the government to forgive a portion of the inheritance taxes for the families of the donors.
Count Your Blessings Today and Be Thankful Year Round
DEAR READERS: By popular demand, here is my traditional Thanksgiving column:
Today is Thanksgiving Day, so take a few minutes to reflect upon all the things for which you are thankful.
How's your health? Not so good? Well, thank God you've lived this long. A lot of people haven't. You're hurting? Thousands -- maybe millions -- are hurting even more. (Have you ever visited a veterans hospital? Or a rehabilitation clinic for crippled children?)
If you awakened this morning and were able to hear the birds sing, use your vocal cords to utter human sounds, walk to the breakfast table on two good legs, and read the newspaper with two good eyes, praise the Lord! A lot of people couldn't.
How's your pocketbook? Thin? Well, most of the world is a lot poorer. No pensions. No welfare. No food stamps. No Social Security. In fact, one-third of the people in the world will go to bed hungry tonight.
Are you lonely? The way to have a friend is to be one. If nobody calls you, pick up the phone and call someone.
Are you concerned about your country's future? Hooray! Our system has been saved by such concern. Your country may not be a rose garden, but neither is it a patch of weeds.
Freedom rings! Look and listen. You can still worship at the church of your choice, cast a secret ballot, and even criticize your government without fearing a knock on the head or a knock on the door at midnight. And if you want to live under a different system, you are free to go. There are no walls or fences -- nothing to keep you here.
As a final thought, I'll repeat my Thanksgiving prayer; perhaps you will want to use it at your table today:
O heavenly Father:
We thank thee for food and remember the hungry.
We thank thee for health and remember the sick.
We thank thee for friends and remember the friendless.
We thank thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.
May these remembrances stir us to service
That thy gifts to us may be used for others. Amen.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and may God bless you and yours. -- LOVE, ABBY
An afterthought: Want an instant high? The surest cure for the holiday blues is doing something nice for someone. Why not call a person who lives alone and invite him or her to share dinner?
Better yet, call and say, "I'm coming to get you, and I'll see that you get home." (Some older people don't drive, and those who do may not like to go out after dark.)
Try it. And let me know the results.
P.S. Special greetings to those of you in the military who wrote from remote corners of the world to tell me that you are using my prayer on this Thanksgiving Day.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Pets Need Proper Shelter During Cold Winter Weather
DEAR ABBY: When I heard the weather report for a nearby mountain community, I was reminded of an item I had clipped from a newsletter a few months ago. The temperatures are already down to freezing in some areas and soon will be downright cold in many locations. Responsible pet owners must consider that their pets need protection from inclement weather, so I dug out the clipping and hope you will print it as a reminder. -- HIGH-DESERT ANIMAL LOVER
DEAR ANIMAL LOVER: Thank you for sharing that item. Countless pets will thank you in the months to come. It should not be assumed that a dog's or cat's "fur coat" is sufficient protection from icy weather. Read on:
PROTECT YOUR PETS FROM WINTER'S WOES (Author Unknown)
In many parts of the country, winter is a season of bitter cold and numbing wetness. Help your pets remain happy and healthy during the colder months:
Do not leave dogs outdoors when the temperature drops. Regardless of the season, short-haired, very young or old dogs, and ALL CATS should never be left outside without supervision. Most dogs, and all cats, are safer if kept indoors, except when taken out for exercise. Short-coated dogs may feel more comfortable wearing a sweater during walks.
No matter what the temperature, wind chill can threaten a pet's life. A dog or cat is happiest and healthiest when kept indoors. However, if your dog is an outdoor dog, he/she must be protected by a dry, draft-free doghouse that is large enough to allow the dog to sit and lie down comfortably, but small enough to hold in his/her body heat. The floor should be raised a few inches off the ground and covered with cedar shavings. The house should be turned to face away from the wind, and the doorway should be covered with burlap or a rug.
DEAR ABBY: Thank you for printing the letter from the reader who suffered great injuries and was charged with DUI without the use of alcohol. A copy of that letter has been laminated and now hangs in our department. It will be shown to patients who give us the excuse, "I am OK to drive."
Also, please tell your readers not to drive after having medical procedures that involve sedation or anesthesia. As a nurse who works in an endoscopy unit, I encounter patients almost daily who insist they are "safe to drive" and that they have "done it many times before."
Patients who are to receive any type of anesthesia or sedation are instructed by the physicians to have a responsible driver to take them home. Please, Abby, through the power of your column, remind your readers to follow these important pre-procedure instructions. The medical staff who will prevent you from driving home are not trying to give you a difficult time; we are trying to prevent injury or death to our patients, or God forbid, an innocent bystander. -- DIANA PASINI-WOJNISZ, WILMINGTON, DEL.
DEAR DIANA: Thank YOU for a letter that's well worth space in this column. I hope that anyone who is having a medical procedure performed that requires sedation or anesthesia will take your letter to heart, and not attempt to get behind the wheel of a car until the medication is completely out of his or her system.
Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)