To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Count Your Blessings Today and Be Thankful Year Round
DEAR READERS: By popular demand, here is my traditional Thanksgiving column:
Today is Thanksgiving Day, so take a few minutes to reflect upon all the things for which you are thankful.
How's your health? Not so good? Well, thank God you've lived this long. A lot of people haven't. You're hurting? Thousands -- maybe millions -- are hurting even more. (Have you ever visited a veterans hospital? Or a rehabilitation clinic for crippled children?)
If you awakened this morning and were able to hear the birds sing, use your vocal cords to utter human sounds, walk to the breakfast table on two good legs, and read the newspaper with two good eyes, praise the Lord! A lot of people couldn't.
How's your pocketbook? Thin? Well, most of the world is a lot poorer. No pensions. No welfare. No food stamps. No Social Security. In fact, one-third of the people in the world will go to bed hungry tonight.
Are you lonely? The way to have a friend is to be one. If nobody calls you, pick up the phone and call someone.
Are you concerned about your country's future? Hooray! Our system has been saved by such concern. Your country may not be a rose garden, but neither is it a patch of weeds.
Freedom rings! Look and listen. You can still worship at the church of your choice, cast a secret ballot, and even criticize your government without fearing a knock on the head or a knock on the door at midnight. And if you want to live under a different system, you are free to go. There are no walls or fences -- nothing to keep you here.
As a final thought, I'll repeat my Thanksgiving prayer; perhaps you will want to use it at your table today:
O heavenly Father:
We thank thee for food and remember the hungry.
We thank thee for health and remember the sick.
We thank thee for friends and remember the friendless.
We thank thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.
May these remembrances stir us to service
That thy gifts to us may be used for others. Amen.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and may God bless you and yours. -- LOVE, ABBY
An afterthought: Want an instant high? The surest cure for the holiday blues is doing something nice for someone. Why not call a person who lives alone and invite him or her to share dinner?
Better yet, call and say, "I'm coming to get you, and I'll see that you get home." (Some older people don't drive, and those who do may not like to go out after dark.)
Try it. And let me know the results.
P.S. Special greetings to those of you in the military who wrote from remote corners of the world to tell me that you are using my prayer on this Thanksgiving Day.
Pets Need Proper Shelter During Cold Winter Weather
DEAR ABBY: When I heard the weather report for a nearby mountain community, I was reminded of an item I had clipped from a newsletter a few months ago. The temperatures are already down to freezing in some areas and soon will be downright cold in many locations. Responsible pet owners must consider that their pets need protection from inclement weather, so I dug out the clipping and hope you will print it as a reminder. -- HIGH-DESERT ANIMAL LOVER
DEAR ANIMAL LOVER: Thank you for sharing that item. Countless pets will thank you in the months to come. It should not be assumed that a dog's or cat's "fur coat" is sufficient protection from icy weather. Read on:
PROTECT YOUR PETS FROM WINTER'S WOES (Author Unknown)
In many parts of the country, winter is a season of bitter cold and numbing wetness. Help your pets remain happy and healthy during the colder months:
Do not leave dogs outdoors when the temperature drops. Regardless of the season, short-haired, very young or old dogs, and ALL CATS should never be left outside without supervision. Most dogs, and all cats, are safer if kept indoors, except when taken out for exercise. Short-coated dogs may feel more comfortable wearing a sweater during walks.
No matter what the temperature, wind chill can threaten a pet's life. A dog or cat is happiest and healthiest when kept indoors. However, if your dog is an outdoor dog, he/she must be protected by a dry, draft-free doghouse that is large enough to allow the dog to sit and lie down comfortably, but small enough to hold in his/her body heat. The floor should be raised a few inches off the ground and covered with cedar shavings. The house should be turned to face away from the wind, and the doorway should be covered with burlap or a rug.
DEAR ABBY: Thank you for printing the letter from the reader who suffered great injuries and was charged with DUI without the use of alcohol. A copy of that letter has been laminated and now hangs in our department. It will be shown to patients who give us the excuse, "I am OK to drive."
Also, please tell your readers not to drive after having medical procedures that involve sedation or anesthesia. As a nurse who works in an endoscopy unit, I encounter patients almost daily who insist they are "safe to drive" and that they have "done it many times before."
Patients who are to receive any type of anesthesia or sedation are instructed by the physicians to have a responsible driver to take them home. Please, Abby, through the power of your column, remind your readers to follow these important pre-procedure instructions. The medical staff who will prevent you from driving home are not trying to give you a difficult time; we are trying to prevent injury or death to our patients, or God forbid, an innocent bystander. -- DIANA PASINI-WOJNISZ, WILMINGTON, DEL.
DEAR DIANA: Thank YOU for a letter that's well worth space in this column. I hope that anyone who is having a medical procedure performed that requires sedation or anesthesia will take your letter to heart, and not attempt to get behind the wheel of a car until the medication is completely out of his or her system.
Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)
Love Won't Be Any Easier if Man Gets Second Chance
DEAR ABBY: I am 23 years old and was previously involved with a man who, at the beginning of our relationship, was married. At the time, I was 17 and about to graduate from high school, and had no previous relationship with a man.
As our relationship progressed, his wife found out about us and divorced him. They had a child who was born in the midst of their divorce. I thought the split would send him flying to my arms. However, that was not the case at all. Instead, he proceeded to sleep with everyone in a skirt who would give him the time of day. He denied our involvement with each other to everyone.
Even knowing all of this, I stayed for three years, and in the process I lost everything -- family, friends, jobs, just about everything I cherished. More important, I lost sight of myself, my goals, and the person I once thought I was. I thought if I loved him enough, he would change. Well, it didn't happen. What did happen was he got someone pregnant and lived with her for a year and a half. It was the last straw for me. I packed up and moved north and regained my life.
I stopped dating for a long time, found the best job I've ever had, and am back in school working on my degree. I am living on my own, and my life is better now than it's been in years.
Recently he left that other woman and has begun to better himself. He has a good job now and has matured a lot in the last five years. We have been talking, and he tells me that he loves me and has asked me to marry him.
Although he and I have been talking, I haven't told anyone in my family or my friends. I know they would not accept him.
Abby, I'm afraid of the outcome. I thought I had closed this chapter in my life, but now I'm not so sure. I always wanted to marry the first man I had ever been intimate with, and he seems genuine this time around. Should I give him a second chance? I know he put me through hell, and I'm leery of repeating it. Should I try again and hope it all works out? -- LOST IN LOVE, WOODLAND HILLS, CALIF.
DEAR LOST IN LOVE: When people ask me whether they should listen to their hearts or their heads, I advise them to listen to the part of their anatomy they THINK with.
It has taken you a long time to get your life back on track. This man sounds like a one-person wrecking crew. Should you try again "and hope it all works out"? Absolutely not.
DEAR ABBY: I have lived on the West Coast for more than 20 years. I go home to the East Coast every summer for four to five weeks. Friends and family insist on always treating when we go out to eat. When I protest, they say, "But we're so delighted that you spend your vacation visiting us," or, "But you spend all that money flying here to visit us."
Some of these people have visited me on the West Coast, and I've thought, "Now it's my turn." However, this time when I offered, the response was, "But you're saving us so much money by providing us a place to stay, use of a car and meals at home."
After all these years, I feel that the scales are very unbalanced. I try to be gracious and appreciative and always send thank-you notes. Can you suggest another strategy, Abby? -- EAST-WEST TRAVELER
DEAR TRAVELER: Since your hosts refuse to let you pay for anything when you visit them, reciprocate by sending them a lovely house gift after your return home. Include with it a short note reiterating how much you enjoyed their hospitality.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)