DEAR ABBY: I have lived on the West Coast for more than 20 years. I go home to the East Coast every summer for four to five weeks. Friends and family insist on always treating when we go out to eat. When I protest, they say, "But we're so delighted that you spend your vacation visiting us," or, "But you spend all that money flying here to visit us."
Some of these people have visited me on the West Coast, and I've thought, "Now it's my turn." However, this time when I offered, the response was, "But you're saving us so much money by providing us a place to stay, use of a car and meals at home."
After all these years, I feel that the scales are very unbalanced. I try to be gracious and appreciative and always send thank-you notes. Can you suggest another strategy, Abby? -- EAST-WEST TRAVELER
DEAR TRAVELER: Since your hosts refuse to let you pay for anything when you visit them, reciprocate by sending them a lovely house gift after your return home. Include with it a short note reiterating how much you enjoyed their hospitality.