DEAR ABBY: "Worried in Woodland Hills" wanted to know what she could do to make the "coming out" process easier for her son. I was moved by her caring and loving regard for her son, whom she feels might be gay. I have no advice for her, only my admiration for what a wonderful mother she must be.
I am 42 and have been out since I was 18. It has never been a problem for me. The problem was always in the minds of other people, and their reaction to something they did not understand. If she is right, her attitude will make a world of difference and help create one more well-adjusted, loving human being. I have known too many who have suffered, and some who have even died, because of the shame and disgrace they were made to feel. I am writing to say thank you to that woman who is truly a mother in the highest sense, and to you, Abby, because your answer was right on. -- BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, SEATTLE
DEAR BEEN THERE: I'm sure your letter will be meaningful, not only to the mother from Woodland Hills, but also to parents everywhere who are emotionally supportive of their gay children. Thank you for your kind words about my reply.
However, several readers have written to tell me that I missed my chance to tell the mother that PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) could be an excellent resource for her. Founded in 1981, PFLAG is a respected support, education and advocacy organization with chapters in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico and 11 other countries.
For literature or referral to a local chapter, write: PFLAG, 1101 14th St. N.W., Suite 1030, Washington, D.C. 20005; or call (202) 638-4200. The e-mail address is info@PFLAG.org, or you may visit the Web site at http://www.PFLAG.org.