DEAR ABBY: I've been living with someone for nearly two years. When we first met we both expected it to last forever. We work together and were together nearly all the time. This took its toll on our relationship. I did everything for her, Abby, including buying us a house I honestly didn't think we were ready for with my life savings.
Six months later she told me she wanted to separate. This wasn't the first time she's done this. After a week of lethargy, I got angry and frustrated and threw her out in a rage!
Abby, I admit I'm not easy to live with. She just thought I regretted our relationship and didn't love her anymore. I loved and still love her and her young son. I've humiliated myself trying to win her back. Despite the advice of my friends, I still want to share my life with her, but she's stubborn and fiercely proud and says she just wants to be "friends."
Abby, I'm a great-looking guy and know I'd make a terrific husband, and while I'm not a vain man, I wouldn't have a hard time finding someone else. Problem is, for some crazy reason, I want HER. What do I do? -- HEARTBROKEN AND ABANDONED IN CANADA
DEAR HEARTBROKEN AND ABANDONED: Since you were the one who threw this woman and her child out, I fail to see why you are now taking the stance of having been abandoned.
You describe yourself as "not easy to live with" and have demonstrated a volatile temper. You describe your efforts to win this woman back as "humiliating." Has it occurred to you that she may have felt humiliated when she found herself and her child without a roof over their heads?
Whether it's possible to patch up this rift remains to be seen. A giant step in the right direction would be for you to seek counseling in anger management techniques. That way she would have some assurance that your apology is sincere and that you are taking steps to change.
DEAR ABBY: My husband, James Patrick Kinney, wrote the poem "The Cold Within" in the 1960s. It is gratifying to know he left something behind that others appreciate.
He submitted it to the Saturday Evening Post; however, it was rejected as "too controversial for the times."
Jim was active in the ecumenical movement. His poem was sent in to the Liguorian, a Catholic magazine. That was its first official publication to my knowledge. Since then, it has appeared in church bulletins, teaching seminars and on talk radio, listed as "Author Unknown." If that was done for legal protection, I understand. My family is always happy to see it appear, but we do think the true author should be given credit.
Jim died at 51 of a heart attack on May 23, 1973, after retiring to Sarasota, Fla.
My second marriage was to Homer Kenny, a Sarasota widower, so I became ... MRS. JAMES KINNEY-KENNY
DEAR MRS. KINNEY-KENNY: I agree that the true author should be given credit. James Kinney was a gifted poet. How sad that he died so young, because he had keen insight and constructive things to say to all of us.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600