DEAR ABBY: My son is 11 years old. He has no contact with the family of his biological father. His grandfather (my father) passed away when my son was 2 weeks old. This was a great loss -- a loving, generous father and grandfather who accepted all his family, blood ties or not. My son has a grandma (my side) who also loves him dearly.
I have recently remarried and am now expecting a baby. I am sure this new baby will be expected to call my husband's parents "Grandma" and "Grandpa," although they insist my 11-year-old son call them "Mr. and Mrs. Last-name." My husband was adopted, and I think, of all people, his parents and family should understand the importance of being accepted into a family unconditionally. Unfortunately, this is not the case. I am not fond of my husband's parents, but am trying to get along.
I wonder how my 11-year-old will feel when this new baby calls them "Grandma" and "Grandpa" while he is not allowed to. I want to do everything possible to make my son feel good about himself. What should I do about this situation? -- MOM
DEAR MOM: Tell your husband's parents that you want both of your children to use the same names for them -- and let his parents decide what those names should be.