DEAR ABBY: Why do so many mothers dress their little girls like adults? When my granddaughter, age 7, showed me her new bathing suit, I was appalled. It was a two-piece bikini that barely covered her bottom, and the top was no better. I didn't say anything other than to ask her who had chosen it. My granddaughter told me her mother did.
I don't know if I should say anything about this to my daughter-in-law. I don't want to lose her friendship, but the world doesn't need 7-year-old sexpots, and I believe that, aware of it or not, my daughter-in-law is encouraging this attitude in her child.
I have noticed that in her family all the women tend to dress provocatively. I want my grandchildren to learn better values than this. However, since they don't live nearby, I don't have much opportunity to influence them.
I don't want to run their lives or make enemies, but if the elders of our generation do not teach their young people about life and values, who will? I'm not afraid to be unpopular by standing up for what I believe; neither do I want to cause trouble. I'm not saying I'm better than my daughter-in-law, but I think my values are. What should I do? -- TROUBLED GRANDMA
DEAR TROUBLED GRANDMA: Any attempt on your part to "correct" your daughter-in-law's child-rearing methods could cause more harm than good. Because you are deeply troubled, approach your son privately with your opinion of the swimsuit and your values.
Keep in mind that although you do not live nearby, as your grandchildren mature, you will have many opportunities to share your values when they visit you or you visit them.