DEAR ABBY: What do you think of sending wedding invitations to every possible acquaintance? I know a gift is supposed to be voluntary, but during the last year I have received invitations from the daughters of casual friends or co-workers. I've met these daughters only once or twice in my entire life. They probably wouldn't know me if they ran into me on the street.
These invitations arrived with cards included that state where the bride is registered, or, in the case of the most recent, stating that contributions could be made to a honeymoon cruise with the check made payable to the cruise line! That one was for a wedding that's three states away. The mother of the bride is fully aware that there's no way I could attend the wedding. It's obvious that a gift or contribution is expected when a card like that is included.
Because I either correspond with the mother of these brides or work with the father, it's very awkward for me not to buy a gift for these events. Yet I would never dream of sending them an invitation to my son's wedding next year, because my son wouldn't know them any better than their daughters know me. Please tell me how to deal with these kinds of invitations. It's emotionally unsettling when one barely has enough funds to buy gifts for actual relatives. -- DESPERATE FOR RELIEF
DEAR DESPERATE: It is inappropriate to include information about where the bride is registered with the invitation to the wedding. The proper way to transmit the information is verbally, in response to an inquiry from someone who has accepted the invitation.
Respond to invitations such as these by sending a card or letter congratulating the happy couple and expressing regret that you will be unable to attend. If you are not attending the wedding, no gift should be expected from you.