For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Plenty of Help Is Available to Assist Learning Disabled
DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Loves Him and Wants to Help," whose intelligent, learning-disabled boyfriend needs assistance in reading and writing skills.
Please let "Loves Him" and all your other readers know about Literacy Volunteers of America Inc. This is a fabulous organization that trains volunteers -- ordinary, workaday men and women, not necessarily teachers by profession -- to give reading and writing instruction to adults. (LVA also provides instruction in English as a second language.) All instruction is absolutely FREE. LVA students from both programs have gone on to college, if that is their goal.
Also, please encourage everyone who is blessed with the gift of literacy to consider becoming a volunteer tutor. The training, like the classes, is also free of charge -- and the rewards for enriching another person's life are priceless.
I found Literacy Volunteers of America Inc. in the white pages of my local phone book. -- KATHLEEN TROOST, PORTSMOUTH, R.I.
DEAR KATHLEEN: Thank you for offering a valuable suggestion. I had no idea that so much help was available for people who are learning-disabled. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Your reader "Loves Him ..." may find the use of recorded textbooks the answer to her boyfriend's learning difficulties.
For half a century, recorded textbooks from Recording for the Blind and Dyslexic (RFB&D) have helped to make educational success possible for tens of thousands of students with visual, perceptual or other physical disabilities. The largest resource of its kind in the world, RFB&D's more than 77,000-volume library of audio and computerized textbooks ensures all students have access to the printed word.
Whether it's sixth-grade history, high school math or college chemistry, our recorded textbooks give our members an opportunity to get the same information as people without print disabilities. Last year, RFB&D began an outreach program to schools to help teachers, students and parents better understand how to use taped textbooks. We now have 2,452 schools enrolled in our Annual Institutional Membership program, and the number is rapidly growing. We expect to double that number by the year 2000.
Our recorded books are available at no charge. The cost to become a member includes a $50 application fee and a $25 annual membership. RFB&D is a national, nonprofit volunteer organization, headquartered in Princeton, N.J. For more information about our services, call (800) 803-7201. -- RITCHIE GEISEL, PRESIDENT AND CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER
DEAR RITCHIE: Although I have known about books-on-tape for the blind, I was unaware that they could also be made available to people with learning disabilities. Thank you for informing my readers and me. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Please tell "Loves Him and Wants to Help" to put her boyfriend in contact with the International Dyslexia Association (formerly the Orton Dyslexia Society). He can be put in touch with adult programs or tutors who are trained to address his individual learning disability. The Web site address is: www.interdys.org.
Dyslexia affects about 15 percent of our population, and we need to get the information out that these people need a specific teaching program. -- MARTHA MORGAN, TUTOR, PORTLAND, ORE.
DEAR MARTHA: Here's your letter. Those who do not have computers or who do not subscribe to an Internet provider should call (toll-free) (800) 222-3123 to leave a message or obtain a local number for the International Dyslexia Association, Monday-Friday, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. EST.
Dogs or Kids in Closed Cars May Lead to Summer Disaster
DEAR ABBY: Recently on a very hot day, I saw two dogs left in parked cars with the windows up. It's that time of year when people need to be reminded never to leave pets or children alone in vehicles. It could be deadly.
When riding in an air-conditioned vehicle, it's easy to forget how quickly the temperature rises once the vehicle is turned off and sitting in the sun. Even on a comfortable day, the temperature climbs quickly and becomes a hazard in only a few minutes. A quick trip to the store could be fatal.
Also, I would like to remind people that animals need shade. Doghouses in the sun do not provide the shelter pets require. It can be hotter inside the doghouse than outside. What a difference could be made by simply placing the doghouse under a shady tree. And please, provide plenty of cool, fresh water and food in clean bowls that cannot be easily tipped over. Remember, a metal bowl conducts heat and cold.
Animals have feelings just like people. Please have a little compassion, and don't keep a dog tied up in the yard day in and day out without giving it some attention.
Please be on the lookout for helpless animals that are left in these situations, and notify the owners or the proper authorities. These animals cannot defend themselves. Their lives and well-being depend on YOU.
A final thought: Please neuter or spay your cats and dogs. Neutered animals make better pets, and this would alleviate the tragedy of thousands of unwanted animals who die each year. -- AN ANIMAL LOVER, FREDERICKTOWN, OHIO
DEAR ANIMAL LOVER: Many readers will appreciate your timely reminder that pets, as well as children, are vulnerable to the heat of summer. Neither should be left unsupervised in a locked vehicle, even for a few minutes. To do so would invite tragedy.
DEAR ABBY: I'm 71 years old and feel good, but I follow the same routine every day.
Abby, I arise between 5:30 and 6:30 a.m. every morning, read the newspaper, do the crossword and Jumbleword, watch soap operas for an hour and a half, and then go to bingo.
I have a male companion living with me who works several days a week. Even when he is off work, he tells me to go ahead and go to bingo because he knows I like it. He's very good to me and gives me his whole paycheck.
Abby, I look forward to bingo and consider it socializing, but I am stuck in a rut. I wonder why I'm so regimented. Is this normal? I think I should sign this ... BINGO ADDICT
DEAR BINGO: Bingo! Your signature says it all: I suspect that what you are hooked on is the rush you get from gambling. However, since you're hurting neither yourself nor your companion, I wouldn't classify this as a "problem."
If you like, test yourself for addiction. Make plans with your companion or a friend to go to the movies on a bingo afternoon and see if you are able to carry through with your plans. If you can't resist canceling in favor of bingo, you may be bingo-compulsive, but not necessarily a problem addict.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
SERVER'S LAST SERVICE SHOULD BE TO GIVE CUSTOMER CHANGE
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I go out for lunch quite often. Our check is typically about $15, to which I customarily add a 15 percent tip.
My problem is the food servers who ask if I want my change back. This puts me in an awkward situation because it appears that the server is expecting a $5 tip, which in my opinion is too much for a $15 check.
Abby, this happens all the time, and it's getting me steamed. I think it's totally improper for a food server to ask for a tip, and to specify the amount.
How would you handle a situation like this? -- STEAMED IN BOSTON
DEAR STEAMED: I would tell the server that, yes, I wanted my change. Then I'd leave a 15 or 20 percent tip, depending on the service I'd received. Although in the past, servers have written to tell me that the question is asked to save a trip back to the table, I consider it to be presumptuous. Servers should courteously return change to the customer as a matter of course.
DEAR ABBY: This letter is in response to "Lost in North Carolina," who has herpes.
I am fortunate to be in a relationship with a fine woman who knows how much she is worth and brings joy and a great attitude into my life and the lives of her children. Yes, she has herpes. She had it long before I met her, and I knew she had it before I asked her to go out with me. She had so many of the important qualities I was looking for in a woman that it was not an issue.
With proper care and proper precaution, "Lost in North Carolina" can have a normal life and a great sex life to go with it. My darling and I have been together two years, and I have not contracted herpes. I expect to live a long life with her and not have a problem. And if I get herpes, it will not be the end of the world. There is life after herpes.
To "Lost," I would say, "Start believing in yourself and don't look for reasons to fail. If you think no one will want you, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. The fact that you have herpes will not stop someone from loving you. What will is a defeatist attitude." Sign me ... HOLDING THE HAND OF SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN THERE
DEAR HOLDING: I subscribe to your philosophy for successful living -- and it applies to more challenges than herpes. Thank you for a helpful letter. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I write to offer hope to the lady who confided to you that she feels that now she has genital herpes, no one will ever want her.
When I caught genital herpes two years ago, I felt the same way. Back then I took your advice and contacted the Herpes Foundation. These caring people got me set up with my local support chapter and I began attending their monthly meetings. Through these meetings I met my soul mate, who is also afflicted.
We plan to be married in the future. Out of something bad came something wonderful! I hope this helps the woman who wrote to you by letting her know that all is not lost. -- LIVING (WELL) IN MESA, ARIZ.
DEAR ABBY: I have a problem that may not seem like a big deal to most people, but it really bothers me.
I meet people, and the next time I see them, they do not remember having met me. While I can't always remember the name of a new acquaintance, I can at least remember having met that person.
Abby, it's a blow to my ego when someone has no recollection of having met me. I admit that I am on the shy and quiet side; perhaps that is why I'm not remembered.
Is there anything I can do to make a lasting impression? -- MR. FORGETTABLE
DEAR MR.: A good way to be remembered is to pay a new acquaintance a compliment. You need not go overboard, but everyone appreciates being complimented.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)