For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
From All Across This Country Comes Happy Chorus of Meows
DEAR ABBY: The results are in -- and everyone's a winner! During the North Shore Animal League's fourth annual Pet Adoptathon, nearly 21,000 dogs, cats, puppies and kittens were placed into loving, permanent homes. That means thousands of once-orphaned animals have received a new gift of life -- and thousands of caring adopters will forever know the joy and companionship that a pet can bring.
Abby, we couldn't have done it without you. The letter you printed in your column on April 28 from league president John Stevenson inspired thousands of animal lovers to call the Pet Adoptathon hotline for the name of their nearest shelter. Extra volunteers had to be called in because the phones never stopped ringing! It goes without saying that untold numbers of those callers visited their nearest shelter and found a friend for life.
On behalf of everyone -- people and pets -- I want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts. -- MARGE STEIN, NORTH SHORE ANIMAL LEAGUE
DEAR MARGE: What gratifying news! You and everyone else who participated in Pet Adoptathon are the ones to be congratulated. Of course, the big winners are the individuals who have provided homes for homeless creatures, for they will be repaid many times over with unconditional love.
DEAR ABBY: Just a quick note of support for "Mom in Denver."
I, too, had a less-than-perfect childhood. I didn't realize it until I had my own two wonderful children. That's when I encountered confusion, anger and depression beyond belief. I wanted to be a better parent than I'd had, but I didn't know how.
Miraculously, a flier landed on our doorstep. It was a free offer to an "early childhood development" class in my neighborhood. School districts offer similar classes in most states.
Ten years ago, I walked into my first class and felt like I had been given a gift. As you stated in your response to "Mom in Denver," I had "an instinctive desire" that guided me, but I wanted better parenting skills. As a childhood development educator started to gather us around and sing, "You are special," I felt tears and knew I'd found the parenting help I was searching for.
I often tell my husband that I can't imagine what our family would be like today if I hadn't stumbled across those parenting classes. Abby, please pass the word to other parents. Families of all ages, incomes, marital status, races and religions are represented. I've been involved with three different school districts in Minnesota, and they've all been terrific. -- ANOTHER MOM IN THE MAKING, MINNEAPOLIS
DEAR MOM: Most communities offer parenting classes and/or family support programs, and they can be a lifesaver for new parents, parents facing difficulties with some aspect of child rearing, or those who simply want to learn to be the best parents they can. I recommend them.
Classes can be found through local school districts, colleges and universities, churches and other religious agencies, youth and recreation organizations, health services and hospitals, libraries, parenting periodicals and social service agencies. Your community is your best resource.
Junk Mail Solicitation Could End Up on Credit Card Bill
DEAR ABBY: Certain credit-card companies have adopted a practice that you and your readers need to be made aware of. An advertiser sent me some junk mail sponsored by a credit card that I owned. It concerned a 50 percent discount in green fees at selected golf courses. Since it was junk mail, I glanced at it and threw it out.
About a month later, a charge that I didn't recognize appeared on my credit-card statement. I called the credit-card company to have it removed from my bill. It turned out to be from the advertiser who had sent the junk mail about saving money at certain golf courses. The credit-card representative then informed me that this company had an agreement with them that silence means acceptance. In other words, somewhere in the small print in the junk mail, it stated that if I chose NOT to accept this offer I'd have to notify them; otherwise my credit card would automatically be billed!
I think this practice is sleazy, immoral and should be illegal. Please warn your readers that they must thoroughly read all junk mail sponsored or endorsed by credit-card companies. -- DISGUSTED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR DISGUSTED: I, too, think the practice should be illegal. But until it is, you're absolutely right: The only protection a credit-card holder has is to carefully scrutinize mailings that have been authorized by their credit-card company. The only alternative would be to cancel the card and find a company that doesn't use these tactics.
DEAR ABBY: It may seem unfair for a fourth-grade boy to be shunned by the boys in his new neighborhood, but I see another course of action for his mother to take that might provide a possible solution. At this child's age, it is important for his parents to become acquainted with his potential playmates and their parents. Why not suggest to the mother who wrote you that the newcomer PARENTS take the initiative and invite the neighbor boys to come to his home to play?
I am the mother of five (now grown) children, who are less than seven years apart in age. After school, playtime at our home (or elsewhere) had rules and limits for the children's safety and my sanity.
Shortly after moving to Texas, our youngest, "Betty," who was in the third grade, asked if she could accept an invitation to play at "Donna's" house. Donna didn't live in our immediate neighborhood and I didn't know her parents, so I suggested that Donna come to our home to play. I phoned her mother, who insisted that the girls play there. The invitations pingponged several times before both of us admitted that we were just cautious about unfamiliar households.
I don't remember who went to which house first, but Donna and Betty became good friends -- and my husband and I have enjoyed knowing Donna's family.
The mother of the new kid on the block is herself new on the block, and she should be willing (even eager) to become better acquainted with her neighbors. -- TEXAS GRANNY
DEAR TEXAS GRANNY: Thank you for sharing your experience with that young man's mother, as well as any other parent whose child is in the same situation. If the problem can be resolved as simply as this mother reaching out to other mothers in the neighborhood, I'm sure your letter will encourage her to do so.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
'Buckle Up' Applies to Drivers and to Their Dogs as Well
DEAR ABBY: I would be grateful for the rest of my life if you would please print this. It could save lives.
Many people are not aware that there are now seat belts for dogs. They cost between $10 and $20, and keep dogs from jumping out of windows or crashing through windshields in accidents.
As an additional benefit, the animals are forced to sit and cannot jump all over the car, which is a distraction for the driver.
I bought my dog, Puppet, a seat belt at the local pet store. Every time I see a dog on a driver's lap in front of the steering wheel, I have the urge to make the driver stop so that I can show him or her Puppet's seat belt. -- ELISABETH SAENZ, GARLAND, TEXAS
DEAR ELISABETH: I didn't know that seat belts for dogs existed, but they certainly make sense. By the way, yours was not the only letter from a concerned animal lover that arrived today in my mail. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Please print this warning to your bird-loving readers. It is unsafe to put red dye into the sugar water for hummingbird feeders. The dye causes tumors to develop on the birds' tongues, which prevents them from feeding, and they die.
Please, Abby, help defenseless hummingbirds. They don't need red dye to find the food. -- ARIZONA APRIL
DEAR ARIZONA APRIL: According to the National Audubon Society in New York and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, "There is no evidence that adding red (or other) food coloring to sugar water will harm birds." A more practical idea is to put your feeder near red flowers or buy a red hummingbird feeder.
Bird lovers should be aware that sugar water ferments when left in the hot sun, turning the nectar deadly. Do not put out a feeder unless you are willing to clean it once or twice a week.
DEAR ABBY: I felt sad for "Hurt Bride," who couldn't accept her pregnant sister-in-law as a bridesmaid. She is forgetting that there is cause for much celebration in her family -- a wedding AND a new baby.
A week after my husband's sister and her fiance announced their wedding date, we had to call and tell them I was pregnant and due right around the date of their wedding. My husband might have been able to attend the wedding if the baby was born by then, but that was all we could promise. Instead of being hurt, they congratulated us and postponed their wedding for two months.
At the wedding, when I thanked my new brother-in-law for rearranging their plans for us, he touched our new baby's head and said, "You were worth it." One reason I like reading your column is that it reaffirms what wonderful families I was born and married into. -- SUZANNA BORTZ, LAGUNA NIGUEL, CALIF.
DEAR SUZANNA: "Hurt Bride" would be wise to note your families' priorities.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)